People Who 'big' Themselves Up

[nailit]

Do you find it nauseous when other people tell you how 'good' they are?
Had to attend a mental health well being group today and were asked to describe ourselves as we see it.
Some of the comments were...

'I havnt got a bad bone in my body'
'Im a nice person'
'Ive got a big heart'

Nothing wrong with a healthy dollop of self esteem...something I sadly lack in...but I find something odd about people who have to tell you what a nice, kind, caring person they are. Surely thats for others to judge for themselves?

I said that Im a melancholy, alcoholic misanthropist who has a deep distrust of people and society in general and have been diagnosed by shrinks in the past as having a borderline personality disorder and if I found 90 quid lying in the street I'd pocket it.... (OK, I didnt really mention the 90 quid)

Just turns me right off a person when they tell you that they are a 'nice' person. I'll be the judge of that thank you!

[nailit]

Interestingly, these were all women who came out with this. The blokes told it as it is.

[shoota]

People who introduce themselves as 'Mister....'

[kvalidir]

I reserve judgement on everyone until I've found out for myself what they are like, but it doesn't really bother me how they describe themselves. Either they re telling the truth or they are big headed and time will tell, so it's not important :)

[Mamyalynne]

The trouble is, they were asked and I am afraid I wouldn't have 'bigged'myself up but mentioned the qualities I have - I wouldn't have lied but told the truth.

[TWR]

Takes all sorts to make a world Nailit, I have met a few in my life, have an open mind, I trusted & thought she was ok, one evil *** at work, this evil *** cost me a job I loved.

[nailit]

piperh, nothing wrong with it at all, me finding it nauseous is probably my problem. I just find it hard to wrap my head around people who probably cant see their own shortcomings when im only to well aware of my own.

[Prudie]

I don't feel it's a sign of self esteem nor bigging themselves up ( you can think you're a really nice person but then wonder why nobody likes you!). I don't take any notice of those comments, I've heard lots of people say how nice they are (including on here :-)) and yet there is evidence that that is not always true. I don't believe anyone is 100% nice to others all the time.

[nailit]

TWR, sorry to hear that but as they say 'life's a bed of roses, just look out for the pricks'...

[-Talbot-]

Very nauseous, I of course never big myself up.....I even get a little embarrassed when others big me up all the time.

[TWR]

Take care my friend, Life is a ***, there are good people out there finding them is another thing.

[carrust]

Maybe the females in the group are in the apprentice. They really know how to big themselves up!

[Sqad]

.....to be honest.....people "bigging themselves up" has never been a significant problem throughout my life.

Many friends of mine who really SHOULD be "bigging themselves up"...don't.

\\\ I've heard lots of people say how nice they are (including on here :-))\\

AB is where that i have come across this phenomenon mostly.

Sorry.........cant really empathise with you nailit.

[nailit]

Agreed Prudie. I could have sat there and said that Im big hearted, kind, thoughtful etc (and thought of instances when that has been true) but its not the whole picture. As humans we also have tendencies towards spitefulness, anger and hatred. Not wrong or right, it just is and I find people who overlook these qualities in themselves a bit 'plastic'.

[nailit]

Squad //Sorry.........cant really empathise with you nailit.//
Can you prescribe me something then? ;-)

[Mamyalynne]

Exactly right Nailit - give a balanced view. I for example can be very sarcastic and have very limited patience with objects/technology that does not work first time.

[Sqad]

nailit...LOL.

[nailit]

Ah!, Go on Squad, prescribe me something. Ive always found diazipam makes everybody seem kind and big hearted, espescially when taken with a special brew.

[nailit]

mamya //have very limited patience with objects/technology//
You and me both mamya