Is This Bullying

[iloveglee]

I am looking for help with a problem my 15 year old grand-daughter has at school. she was previously friends in a group, but this year their behaviour is not who she is, and she is not prepared to change who she is. all they are interested is boys, being 'available' to boys, and pulling boys (in one case a 21 year old man). i recognise this (the 21 year old man) is totally unacceptable, even illegal, and has in fact been reported. she won't subscribe to this behaviour or way of 'being' and for this reason, the ringleader, who used to be her best friend, is encouraging the others to exclude her, but making sure she knows it. all the other girls in her year are in 'groups' and she is finding it impossible to make new friends. they are like covens!! she is talking about wanting to change schools as she is so unhappy, which may not be the answer, its a big step. her mother has made arrangements to see someone at the school, but doesnt have much confidence in them. no-one will sit with her at lunch break, and i believe there is some nastiness going on online. i consider this to be bullying but the other girl's mother says it is just girls falling out and leave them to it. she is doing reasonably well academically but i fear this will change if she continues to be so miserable.

[andy-hughes]

Teenage girls can be an absolute nightmare.

There is a massive amount of peer pressure and group-building to try and counteract the massive insecurities that all girls feel, coupled with a fear or not 'belonging'.

Sadly a lot of insecurity is buried under diversionary tactics - if someone else is being bullied and excluded, it's not you.

There is an argument that this is how girls act at this age, but when it reaches the stage where one is being singled out, then that is beyond acceptable. The other girl's mother would be less sanguine if it was here daughter on the end of the exclusion tactics I am sure.

You grand-daughter's mum is doing the right thing by bringing in the school - they have vast experience of dealing with this sort of situation, plus they are on site and can monitor what is going on.

She needs to state her case calmly and without apportioning blame, and get the school on side. I am sure they will reach a resolution without the need to move schools.

Adolescence is more horrible now than it has ever been - fingers crossed your GD gets the support she needs, and with the obvious love and support of her family, she will come through this temporary unpleasantness.

[iloveglee]

there are, it is true, enormous pressures on teenage girls, but what seriously concerns me what they think is an acceptable way of being for a 15 year old. I know they grow up quickly these days but really. I have found out there have been photos exchanged, you will know the kind I mean, and I am so pleased my grand-daughter does not want to subscribe to this, but it seems it is at the price of having no friends and not 'fitting in' what is happening to our kids, its scary