Douglas reminds me of an old joke.
Two cowboys are stranded in the desert, they have water but no food.They are so hungry one of them started to hallucinate
He says 'I can see a Bacon tree'.The other says he is just seeing a mirage. The first cowboy is so sure he can see the Bacon tree he heads off after it. His mate follows him at a distance, he comes round a bush and there is the first cowboy laying in the dust with several Indian arrows sticking into him.
He looks up at his friend and says , it wasn't a Bacon tree it was a ham bush .