News1 min ago
Flying
I got absolutely hammered and spent two hours flying a helicopter last night.
Then I ran out of 50p’s
I used to work as a mathematical lumberjack. My timing was out though, I used the wrong logarithm.
I was out playing golf yesterday when my boss rang to ask why I wasn’t at work. I said “I am on a course.” He replied “Oh, that is okay then.”
A friend of mine got me a new car for my birthday; it wasn’t the car I wanted, but he had already paid for it. It was a Fiat Accompli.
I have just put a tracker on my new car in case it gets stolen. I still don’t know how a chocolate bar will help locate it though.
I have just opened a new 500sq ft. shoe shop. I haven’t sold any of them yet.
My wife always puts on a jolly face. Which explains why she was fired as a makeup artist.
I love playing chess at the park with old men. The hard part is finding 32 of them.
I was laying down earlier and I thought to myself, ‘Laminate flooring is much easier than duck feathers.’
Then I ran out of 50p’s
I used to work as a mathematical lumberjack. My timing was out though, I used the wrong logarithm.
I was out playing golf yesterday when my boss rang to ask why I wasn’t at work. I said “I am on a course.” He replied “Oh, that is okay then.”
A friend of mine got me a new car for my birthday; it wasn’t the car I wanted, but he had already paid for it. It was a Fiat Accompli.
I have just put a tracker on my new car in case it gets stolen. I still don’t know how a chocolate bar will help locate it though.
I have just opened a new 500sq ft. shoe shop. I haven’t sold any of them yet.
My wife always puts on a jolly face. Which explains why she was fired as a makeup artist.
I love playing chess at the park with old men. The hard part is finding 32 of them.
I was laying down earlier and I thought to myself, ‘Laminate flooring is much easier than duck feathers.’
Answers
I got absolutely hammered and spent two hours flying a helicopter last night. Then I ran out of 50p’s Blimey thats a coincidence, I was driving Thomas The Tank Engine.
22:43 Mon 29th Oct 2018