Mrs May: Knife Crime In London.

[Peter Pedant]

Mrs Teresa May the prime minister lashed out at London knife crime. She said, ”as I came down the stairs today at least five knives flew at me from hidden shadows. I want 10 Downing St to be as safe as any street in London for anyone.
“Everyone has a right to be safe in London – I can walk down Whitehall without being molested, upskirted or even recognised. Then when I turn into Downing St it turns into a butcher’s shop. The Police are doing nothing and the Federation has specified that Downing St is not a safe environment to patrol.”
She called on all conservative MPs to hand in their knives to the independent arbiter Speaker Bercow or someone else they felt they could trust. Mrs May continued: “There are gangs of these men - called Tory Boys roaming Westminster being rude to cabinet ministers and civil servants in a most lawless manner, foaming at the mouth and shouting Brexit, Brexit!.
The head Tory Boy commented: “There are no rules. We used to have them but we changed them last week. Now we make it up as we go along. The rule book is now very short: Rule 1 – there are no rules! we could vote her out - but then what would happen to our great big fat expenses?”
Mrs May said “The tory boys used to be like sheep – trooping here and there on my orders. Now it is like they got Rabies. – where will it all end? We are going to hell in a handcart”

[shoota]

Have you got a link?


(Snitter, snitter…. :-) )

[Peter Pedant]

thank you shoota
I thought I would ask a question which is really topical and up to date and seems not be have been asked before

[dannyk13]

PP, knife crime is hardly a subject for jollity.

[shoota]

Gotta havva link PP...

[retrocop]

That wasn't question. More like a statement.

[Peter Pedant]

// PP, knife crime is hardly a subject for jollity.//

I stand reproved Danny-boy
I bet Mrs May would say - golly you can say that again!

I thought you might say, that any cabinet minister found carrying a knife ( going equipped ) into No 10
would go down for life in Wormwood Scrubs ( where they still have an old etonian table apparently )

No OK

[douglas9401]

Comedy skits are notoriously difficult to write.

Good for you for having a stab at it.

[SparklyKid]

There was me thinking "news" was a serious section.

[Togo]

No Sparkly......although some seriously need sectioning.

[Peter Pedant]

I thought news was serious.....bright spark

yeah like the one a day or so ago where we earnestly discussed
" was St George of Cappadocia from England or Cappadocia?"

about 30% of ABers ( the so called 'average ABers') thought England was more probable

[Mamyalynne]

Not any more SK, we get daily headlines with garbed wording, strangled names and mockney and let's face it News is now the home of acronyms and abbreviations (real or imagined) - there's even a comical caption thread below this one.

[Mamyalynne]

* garbled

[Peter Pedant]

// Good for you for having a stab at it.//

o god cutting edge humour ! it took me a few mins to get the point of that

[anotheoldgit]

Peter Pedant

/// I thought I would ask a question which is really topical and up to date and seems not be have been asked before ///

What is the question, that you are asking, so that we can check if it has been asked before?

[Zacs-Master]

Most of us know what the question is, AOG.

[Zacs-Master]

By the way, PP, that's pretty good. Certainly the most coherent thing I've seen you write for some time. Must have been hard dumbing-down to queen's English for you ;-)