My friend just stays at home these days, watching film after film. He has developed a reel problem.
I have just reconditioned an old car, it took thirty bottles of head and shoulders.
I was going to ask out a man who works at un-feathering chickens, but I couldn’t pluck up the courage to ask.
I can’t believe the number of people who came to my summer pool party. If I had known how many would turn up I would have hired some more cues.
My partner told me that he is leaving me due to my obsession with the Olympics. I told him I am sure we will overcome this hurdle together and get our marriage back on track.
Currys won’t give me a refund on my computer because they say that I caused the damage by stuffing it full of twenty pound notes. It hardly seems fair when it clearly said it was running in safe mode.
I have a brilliant job. I work with loads of birds and they always turn their heads whenever I am in the room. It is great down at the owl sanctuary.
I have just bought a John Cleese DVD box set off eBay. I need to return it though because two of the discs are Fawlty.
Every time I take my toucan to the vet, I come back with a large bill.
I went into a shop the other day and everything was on shelves way too high for anyone to reach. It was an inconvenience store.