Wedding Seating On Top Table - Is There A Correct Way??

[Smowball]

My son is getting married next year and his gf has gone into full bridezilla mode, but that’s his problem lol.
My query is the table seating. My daughter has told me that the gf is planning to have her parents at top table, plus me, and my sons dad (my ex), but not our current spouses, to whom we have both been married to for 10 years each. She wants them to go and sit separately with other guests, of which Mr Smow will only know about 3!
My ex has refused to sit away from his wife, and sons gf thinks he is being entirely unreasonable, but actually I agree with him.
Now she doesn’t know I even know about this seating plan yet, but I wanted to gently broach the subject with her. I’ve spoken to a few people who have been divorced and remarried and they all said that their current spouses were sat with them at the top table.
What do you think??

[douglas9401]

I think we were well overdue for the lighter-hearted one.

[Tilly2]

As it's only two more place sitting on the top table, I'd go for it.

[spathiphyllum]

I can see where the bride is coming from. The top table would be over shadowed by two couples for the groom compared to one for the bride.

It would make the top table unsymmetrical.

[Smowball]

Lol Douglas.
Well I did a bit of Googling and it says that where there are divorced parents it’s best to have a long table and not a top table...

[Prudie]

I suppose it depends on the size of the table but it's always best to minimise any arguments because there will be plenty for sure so maybe she should let all sit at top table if there's room.
Did you win in the battle of the hats at this wedding?

[douglas9401]

What about having a round table at one end of the room, raised on portable staging so all the other guests can admire the Arthurian wisdom brought to the auspicious occassion?

Or just have a buffet with cake at the end.

And a fight.

[Zacs-Master]

Sounds like a fight is guaranteed. Ambulances at Midnight. RSVP.

[Smowball]

It’s a MASSIVE wedding! They’ve booked this incredible old hall - I dread to think what it costs! I’ve seen the website for the venue and it’s just stunning.
I’m obviously not going to fall out with them, I just wondered if there was a subtle way of raising the subject lol

[bednobs]

whoever is paying gets the choice i thnk

[Smowball]

Ohhhh what to do lol

[Prudie]

And the hat?

[craft1948]

I just wouldn't invite the new partners...

[Old_Geezer]

Well it's their wedding, but no harm (hopefully) in explaining how hurt you'd both feel, the issue with spouses not knowing many folk, and point out just how little hassle just 2 more places at the main table would be. Try, "Pretty please" ing it.

[wolf63]

How many sons and daughters do you have? I'm getting confused.

[hc4361]

That's the proper way to do it. It's only for a couple of hours out of the whole day and the 'steps' should step back

[Bazile]

What is your son's opinion on the seating
arrangements ?

Hasn't he got a say in it -or is he going to start married life doing what he is told ?

[Old_Geezer]

Of course Baz. Start as you mean to go on, for the quiet life.

[Bazile]

There is that OG :-)

[MallyJ]

Surely it is their day and therefore their decision.....they want the grooms parents at the top table and I can't see any reason why they shouldn't have their wish for their wedding.....the meal doesn't take long and providing his parents aren't likely to use the cutlery on each other why would anyone go against their wishes? No wonder people get stressed.....good grief....

[naomi24]

If the all get on reasonably well, to avoid conflict and to ensure that no one is uncomfortable I would sit them all on the top table – but the decision is that of the lady organising the wedding – the bride’s mother I presume.