Lungs Failing.

[Theland]

After four stays in hospital this year, tests and X-Rays, I have been told that my lungs are failing.
The DNR is signed and in place, and my funeral is paid for.
The reality is I could go tonight, or linger on for a year or two.
It saddens me because I want to leave my family secure and worry free.
My family are doing OK, youngest son, 26, about to join the Navy.
I have enough money to pay the bills, just, but help out one of my two disabled children.
Sometimes it gets a bit much. Overwhelming.
Citalopram, Mirtazapine and Morphine help, but that's all.
I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that soon, (?), I won't be around.
My faith sustains me, but I am not impervious to dreadful depression.
Just wanted to share.

[bookbinder]

My heart goes out to you, Theland. If I could help, I would be there instantly. All that I can do is to say uplifting things, such as: bear up; be of good cheer; try to keep smiling; etc. But these are just platitudes, I know. All the best, Theland, from the bottom of my heart.

[Barsel]

I'm pleased that your faith sustains you.

[Lie-in King]

I'm sorry to read this, Theland. I can't offer much, except to say that you should enjoy the love & comfort of your family & faith every day & rest as much as you need to. My best wishes to you.

[anneasquith]

I wonder TH if you would benefit from support group for COPD sufferers. It’s all very well to have faith and family support but it’s totally understandable to feel very down and anxious . I wonder if you ever did get home 02 ? Sending prayers .

[Theland]

Thank you.
Strange.
My faith makes me fearless, but I am not immune to depression.
Maybe I'm just greedy, and want more and more life.

[Mamyalynne]

Theland, of course it saddens you to contemplate leaving behind those you love - to put your affairs in order as you have is a kindness to them.

Hold on to your faith and may your passage through what remains of your life here be as comfortable as possible.x

[barry1010]

I am genuinely very saddened by your post, Theland. I hope your remaining are as comfortable as they can be and that you still find some joy and a lot of love in your days.
May your God continue to give you solace and the strength to face each day afresh.

Please don't feel guilty about not being about to provide as much as you would like to your children. Your love is enough.

[anneasquith]

Nice post , Barry .

[fender62]

sad to hear your news theland, if you have a bucket list, then do it all
you have shared your heartache here, thats very brave and i commend that.. as that old saying goes, live each day like it's your last, share the joy and love with friends and family.

[roopower]

It's good that your faith sustains you, my mum gained great comfort and support from her faith throughout her life. Be sure that your AB 'friends ' will be here for you.

[calmck]

You will be in my prayers. Remember the following
"Death is nothing at all
'You' have only slipped into the other room"

[jennyjoan]

Hello Theland, I follow your posts regarding religion although I don't respond but do hope whether you live one month or years for that matter - you don't feel pain.

[Khandro]

Theland, It's always difficult to find words at such a time, but may I tell you a story?

When, many years ago, my mother phoned me in despair to say that my father had completely & unexpectedly just died, it was such a shock, I was in Gloucestershire & they lived in Manchester, we just piled the kids into the car & dashed off up the M5.

I had to stop for petrol near Birmingham & by an odd circumstance I found myself standing next to a young woman holding her newly-born baby in her arms. I could not help but link the two events; my father's death, & this new life together, I always think of it at such times.

Do you know the song 'And when I die' ? it was written by a young girl & bought up from her by the music industry being made famous by the group 'Blood, Sweat & Tears', it contains the words,

'And when I die, and when I'm gone
There'll be one child born
In this world to carry on, to carry on'

Which kind of sums everything up for me.

On a lighter note Theland, what are your AB antagonists going to do if you're not there, will they then gang up on me?

I'll pray for you, bon courage! K.

[dannyk13]

So sorry to hear that, there are no words to comfort you but, at least ,you have your family around you.

[burlyshirley]

I'm sorry Theland, truly, truly sorry. Nobody wants to leave their loved ones behind despite such a strong faith as you have. My Mum left a note when she had died to say that she will always watch over us and we are always in her heart and I know this and it helps me. It will be the same for you, as you know. Khandro's post is lovely and I hope all the kind words on here help you. xx

[DTCwordfan]

Theland - tremendously sorry to hear this and I am sure that you will battle on for as long as you can - and between us all, we'll work on keeping your spirits up. Not least your kids should provide inspiration for you to push on and on. Of course, there will be up and down days, hopefully more of the former than the latter.

Hope you are at home now and enjoying the comforts of there rather than your hospital, not least for the food and company!

Keep us informed to what's going on and we'll even rustle up some stories and lighter moments!

[andy-hughes]

I am shocked and really really sad to read this Theland.

I know what we have diametrically opposed views about what is going to happen to you, but I am very sad that you will be absent from us on here, exchanging views and arguing your position, mostly with humour!

I wonder - is there a way for anyone in your family to let us know when the time comes? It would be so sad if your posts simply stopped appearing, but clearly that is your choice and we will of course find out either way.

My I wish you the very best for your future, whatever that may turn out to be, and I hope your faith will sustain you during your remaining time, and that you do not suffer any pain.

Hopefully you will be able to continue to keep us updated, but in case not, I do thank you for all the exchanges we have had - friendly and not so friendly, and to confirm that I have always admired the strength of your faith, even though I do not share it.

A.

[pixie374]

Very best wishes, theland xx you know where we are, if you need any outlet. Your children will remember you as a dad who loved and supported them, any money is incidental. Take care xx

[Patsy33]

Your faith has probably sustained you more than anyone will know, Theland. I truly hope your time you have left will be as comfortable and pain free as possible. My Mum's lungs gave up in the end and she had a relaxing, pain free end to her life, as I and my sister stayed with her until she passed. x

[pastafreak]

This is such a sad post Theland, but I've no doubt that your faith, and the support of your family, will give you strength. I wish you as much time...and more...that you need to feel you've done all you desire. Wishing you comfort and peace.