Can you imagine the Christmas party for our resident remainiacs and their like minded party poopers. You know how they need to be told what to do in every circumstance and require micromanagement ... preferably from a foreign Government, which has banned parties and Christmas. The invitations would be posted but most of them would ignore the envelope for a few days wondering if it was good news or an unexpected bill. The invitations would only give the place and time. What a conundrum it would give them. What should they wear? The sparkly frock with statement Doc Martins, or the Boiler suit with ballet slippers? Would a fascinator or a hard hat look best. Either way the average remainiac was turning up looking like a transitioning Fred Dibnah so as to emulate all the others Then how to get there? Bus, Taxi, or walk. Walking would probably be best then, so that if they changed their confused mind on the way, going home didn't involve asking the bus or taxi driver to take them back. On arrival they would stand in the middle of the room and without instructions on how to "mix" spend an hour or so wondering if they were being ignored or were instead ignoring everybody else. They would of course drink tap water throughout the "party" in the absence of guidelines on the merits of fruit juices, still or mineral beverages, and clear alcohol recommendation limit guides being announced every 5 minutes. The meal would be a presentation from the Friends of the Dirth Society with a short film showing the halal slaughter of sheep and cattle and the live plucking of an Ostrich wrongly identified as a Turkey. Processed, but nicely coloured and rehydrated, wood chippings and reclaimed cardboard in Kale stock followed by an upside down pudding. The "after dinner" pass the parcel game would have to be stopped to organise a committee meeting to issue instructions, when it became obvious that whilst some were busy unwrapping the parcel the others were equally busy wrapping it back up again. When it was finally plugged in after a health and safety meeting your average remainiac would be eager to take a turn on the karaoke machine and would give an excruciatingly mundane rendition of Should I Stay or Should I Go followed by Hello Goodbye. ♪♪ "You say yes, I say no, You say stop and I say go, go, go, Oh, no, You say goodbye and I say hello, Hello, hello, I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello. ♪♪