just need some one to talk to, to make me feel better x

[sarah*]

hey i really need to say this and if any one has any advice or any views please write back. im 18, 19 in a few mnts and im totally in love with a guy (best friend) who likes me back, so wats the problem i hear you say.

well im not allowed to go out wit him coz of different culture and race, im not being racist if any one thinks i am but its parents culture clash amongst other things,

the guy i like knows all this and bless him , he has been patient and not pushed me in to anything hence i think he deserves so much better.

he told me he loves me on wednesday at my work place and that he wanted to be more then mates and i told him i loved him back but when i went in yesterday he started chatting up other girls right in front of me, it really hurt me and i didnt no wat to do let alone where to look so i carried on working and smiling at him but then i thought maybe thats for the best, if he moves on and finds some one thats good for him and can go out with him.

i really like him theres no questions about that, its just i dont no how to act now around him coz were best mates aswell

i felt guilty that i felt jealous he was chatting other girls up and im really emotional at the min coz of girlys problem lol the girls will no wat i mean

so please reply back with anything to make me feel better thank you x

[fideldyfee]

hi sarah,

i dont really know what to say advice wise but i just wanted to say dont worry too much and keep your chin up. im sure lots of people will have some great advice for you and im sorry i dont but im sure things will work out just fine in the end.

in the meantime heres a hug to try and make u feel better ((((((((hug))))))))))

[loobie]

Sarah,

I'm not an expert at relationships especially when they are a mix of cultures but I really feel for you. I have known a couple of people who were not meant to be together but defied everyone and are still together. If this guy really is the love of life then you have to give it a go for both of your sakes. He may be the one, he may not but you will only live your life asking what if?

If he's flirting right in front of you, he is doing it on purpose probably to get a reaction from you. Why don't you sit down and talk to this guy to see what he wants, what you want and then hjust deal with the what comes out of the discussion after.

Like I say i am not an expert at all but I have had a few relationships to be able to give you my opinion. Hope this helps and hope it all works out.

[Peghead]

You poor girl, it sounds like you're really hurting over this. It seems like you have a few options though. Would your parents really react that badly if you were honest with them and told them that you like this guy? They may seem hard faced about it now but ultimately they'll only want what makes you happy. You could try talking to them. If they're not willing to overlook the difference in race/culture for your the sake of your happiness then I feel very sad for you. You can't always fall in love with someone that your parents approve of and you can't always live your life they way they find acceptable.

On the other hand I do know from experience how difficult it is to stand up to your parents, even when you know you're in the right, when its going to hurt them to hear the truth.

You're not in the wrong here though - you're caught between people you love. You don't want to hurt your parents or your best friend and from what I can see you haven't don't anything wrong. I don't think it was very fair of your best friend to behave how did if he knows the situation between you both, but maybe he was (in a blokey kind of way!) trying to help you move on by removing himself from the equation? Just a thought.

The only way, apart from seeing this guy in secret, is to talk to your parents or move on. You have to decide how important he is to you and whether he's worth fighting for! I hope everything works out for you. Keep smiling! xx

[jno]

chatting up other girls in front of you is bad manners. Sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants, despite saying he loves you. That is not how people in love behave; so I'd take his words with a pinch of salt if I were you.

[sarah*]

thanks alot guys

ive been a bit weepy and reading your answers through and through has made me realise how real this all is coz i just cant seem to think straight to be able to make a decision myself

thanks again for you answers

[Paddymanc]

Laugh.....

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike.
>They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
>He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it.
>Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
>The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees.
>They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.
>By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.
>
>The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm "Scouse eggs".
>
>The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
>
>He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.
>
>The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers??
>"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f*ckers have managed to nick a motorbike already

[Scarlett]

Cultures aside, I think I know what he is doing here.

He fancies you and would quite like to get it on. So he has told you he loves you. But this is not enough- you are still playing hard to get! So he is now trying to show you what you are missing by flirting with other girls in front of you. What a cheap trick. He is saying "QUICK come and get me whilst I am still available! Look---I'm going... going...."

Is the race issue REALLY the reason you can't be together? In this day and age most people are accepting of mixed race relationships- it is normal.Are you sure you are not just holding back for some other reason?

Either way, if he is your best friend he has a funny way of showing it.