ChatterBank7 mins ago
Romance Fraud
7 Answers
Is there anyone who knows of any organisation that can advise and support a family whose elderly father is the victim of romance fraud, but who will not accept that this is happening, and refuses to discuss or engage with his family about it.
This is the second time it has happened, the current one is ongoing. The first time, it probably wasn't even a real person, but he lost £20,000 nevertheless. This time, the person is real, but almost certainly is not what she purports to be. She is 60, very glamorous, blonde, beautifully made up and dressed. He is 86 and not so glamorous. He does however have money, or did until he evidently gave it all to her. He has a very nice house, worth around £300,000, and has put it up for sale maintaining that he is going to buy a house in London, and they will move in together.
Now everyone knows, you can barely buy a garage in London for that kind of money. The family are not sure of the terms of his will, they believe the house was tenants in common, therefore the part that was his deceased wife's will not be touchable.
This started small, as it does. Found her online, she just wanted to be his carer, a couple of days a week. He is pretty physically fit so doesn't actually need a carer. This was train tickets from London, which went onto needing a car, which he gave her his own. Then the car broke down so he bought her another one. He gave her things which were his wife's and had sentimental value for his daughter, who asked her very politely if she wouldn't mind giving them back. She didn't. When his family tackle him with his he either just turns away, or says his life wouldn't be worth living without this woman, ergo he will kill himself.
His daughter, who is my friend is on the verge of a breakdown over this. She, and her children (all grown up with children of their own), are heartbroken at how he is turning his back on them, and how it's affecting their mum. Her husband is furious but none of them know what to do, or who to turn to.
Which leads me to my question. They know, he is entitled to do exactly what he likes with his money and property, as he is competent. Although, to me this behaviour is not normal. They fear that the house will be sold, the money will go into an account with her, and then it will disappear, and so will she. He will then be homeless and alone. This is common I know that, but I can't find any information of any organisations who can help or at the very least support them. All the places I can find online are in the US and they are in UK.
Help and advice welcomed. Thanks.
This is the second time it has happened, the current one is ongoing. The first time, it probably wasn't even a real person, but he lost £20,000 nevertheless. This time, the person is real, but almost certainly is not what she purports to be. She is 60, very glamorous, blonde, beautifully made up and dressed. He is 86 and not so glamorous. He does however have money, or did until he evidently gave it all to her. He has a very nice house, worth around £300,000, and has put it up for sale maintaining that he is going to buy a house in London, and they will move in together.
Now everyone knows, you can barely buy a garage in London for that kind of money. The family are not sure of the terms of his will, they believe the house was tenants in common, therefore the part that was his deceased wife's will not be touchable.
This started small, as it does. Found her online, she just wanted to be his carer, a couple of days a week. He is pretty physically fit so doesn't actually need a carer. This was train tickets from London, which went onto needing a car, which he gave her his own. Then the car broke down so he bought her another one. He gave her things which were his wife's and had sentimental value for his daughter, who asked her very politely if she wouldn't mind giving them back. She didn't. When his family tackle him with his he either just turns away, or says his life wouldn't be worth living without this woman, ergo he will kill himself.
His daughter, who is my friend is on the verge of a breakdown over this. She, and her children (all grown up with children of their own), are heartbroken at how he is turning his back on them, and how it's affecting their mum. Her husband is furious but none of them know what to do, or who to turn to.
Which leads me to my question. They know, he is entitled to do exactly what he likes with his money and property, as he is competent. Although, to me this behaviour is not normal. They fear that the house will be sold, the money will go into an account with her, and then it will disappear, and so will she. He will then be homeless and alone. This is common I know that, but I can't find any information of any organisations who can help or at the very least support them. All the places I can find online are in the US and they are in UK.
Help and advice welcomed. Thanks.
Answers
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This is a very difficult situation and one I have been in myself.
The difficulty is, that the victim, will very likely be incandescent that someone else is interfering. They will also not thank those who mean well for effectively bursting their bubble.
In my situation, I was able to get a picture of the man involved and did a reverse google image search which confirmed for me the fact that we had a romance scam going on. At the time I was a member of a forum which dealt with romance scams and someone from there contacted my victim anonymously with the "evidence". I think that was sufficient to end things since we never heard another word about this man.
I have found this: https:/
It might also be worth a call to Action Fraud, or to the police in the area where the gentleman lives. They may be able to offer some advice.
The difficulty is, that the victim, will very likely be incandescent that someone else is interfering. They will also not thank those who mean well for effectively bursting their bubble.
In my situation, I was able to get a picture of the man involved and did a reverse google image search which confirmed for me the fact that we had a romance scam going on. At the time I was a member of a forum which dealt with romance scams and someone from there contacted my victim anonymously with the "evidence". I think that was sufficient to end things since we never heard another word about this man.
I have found this: https:/
It might also be worth a call to Action Fraud, or to the police in the area where the gentleman lives. They may be able to offer some advice.
I know someone who was giving money to a facebook 'friend' who turned out to be someone's stolen facebook profile and was a completely different person. I don't know what happened but someone told the police because they were concerned about her, being elderly and slightly vulnerable. The police paid a visit and still keep an eye on her.
Thank you for the responses. They have considered going to the police but as he’s doing all this, apparently willingly, they’ll almost certainly not be able to do anything, but may have access to support services, so may be worth it.
I know my friend’s fear is he’ll make good on his threat to kill himself if they interfere and prevent him being with this woman. He maintains his life wouldn’t be worth living without her, so proving she’s not legitimate, would just buy into this.
The money doesn’t come into it. An inheritance is nice, but none of the family are in need of it. It’s the emotional pain that he’s just turning his back on his kids, grandkids and great grandkids as though they mean nothing to him.
They have spoken to social services safeguarding, but he just tells them he won’t speak to them.
He has told them that when he has bought this new house, and set up home with this woman, he intends to leave it to her and designate her to have his private pension which is very comfortable. Again, they know she’s defrauding him, but he’s allowing her to do so.
I know my friend’s fear is he’ll make good on his threat to kill himself if they interfere and prevent him being with this woman. He maintains his life wouldn’t be worth living without her, so proving she’s not legitimate, would just buy into this.
The money doesn’t come into it. An inheritance is nice, but none of the family are in need of it. It’s the emotional pain that he’s just turning his back on his kids, grandkids and great grandkids as though they mean nothing to him.
They have spoken to social services safeguarding, but he just tells them he won’t speak to them.
He has told them that when he has bought this new house, and set up home with this woman, he intends to leave it to her and designate her to have his private pension which is very comfortable. Again, they know she’s defrauding him, but he’s allowing her to do so.
Reminded me of this video.
https:/
Try as they might they just couldn’t get the victim to believe it was a scam, not matter how much evidence they had.
https:/
Try as they might they just couldn’t get the victim to believe it was a scam, not matter how much evidence they had.
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