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My friend and I were very close and about a year ago I was going through very hard times trying to cope with me loosing my father and some work related problems and one day me and my friend had an argument (as normal friends do) but this time he cut me off. I reached out to him but he totally ignored me. After about 2 weeks of trying to reach out I stopped and got on with my life. A few months later we met and I asked him why he did that and he simply said “oh it was just a misunderstanding and I got busy with work etc” so I got very mad and told him “cutting off a friend for months and that’s your reason. If that’s what our friendship is worth to you, I have lost all respect to you, I’m going to pass so good luck with your life ” and this was the last time we talked about it for a year and whenever we meet each other again we keep it very formal between us.
Last month, he started to get closer and reach out to me. Now, I know through mutual friends that he is going through a lot of problems these days and divorce, so I felt bad for him and I didn’t ignore him. Now he started to hang out with me a lot these days and totally ignoring what happened between us and not apologising or even discussing it.
I try to keep this friendship as casual and simple as possible (treating him like any other person I know nothing more) but he comes to me a lot talking about his problems and seeking help and always keeps on saying that I’m his best friend and I’m very important to him bla bla
I know he only came back to me because he is going through hard time and wants someone beside him who listens to him and guides him and I know that when he gets up on his feet again he’ll just leave again.
Now should I cut him like he did to me, not as a revenge but I just don’t want our friendship to develop any further. Or should I tell him to go find someone else to drop his problems on.
One more thing I tried my best to explain my story with being dramatic, but we were very close and we did so much for each other and helped each other, and when he cut me off the pain was unimaginable, it was really difficult for me, especially that time when I was at my lowest. I have moved on but the scar is still there and I’m still very angry at him if I’m being honest
No best answer has yet been selected by Jackbewman. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.You miss the relationship you had with your friend when times were good, but the friend showed you that the relationship was false and meant nothing, because when times were bad the friend totally abandoned you.
You are still angry and hurt, and you are vulnerable. Don't put yourself in a position where you can be hurt again.
I would say keep things formal and keep the false friend at arm's length. If you let the friend get too close you will get hurt again.
Better not to let that happen.
Deciding whether to reconnect with a best friend who cut you off for a year can be challenging. Consider the reason behind the cutoff and if both parties are willing to address underlying issues. If moving past infidelity or a lack of emotional connection in the relationship were factors, seeking professional guidance might be beneficial. Relationship counseling can help both of you understand the root causes and work on rebuilding trust and communication. Look for counselors near me to find a suitable professional who can facilitate this process. Reflect on whether reconnecting will positively impact your life and if both of you are ready to commit to maintaining a healthy, respectful relationship.
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