i'm off to prison to make my fortune!!

[joko]

I have decided to get sent to prison, pretend to attempt suicide, fail, then claim my millions.

can anyone tell me what crime i can do that will only get me a few months or so?

thanks

[Lonnie]

Thats easy, go to North Wales amd get caught speeding, then claim its your 'Human Right' to speed if you want to.

[vehelpfulguy]

Well you can drive your car without insurance and knock someone over and kill them on a zebra crossing.

That will probably only get you a few months.

[Danni79]

Leave a used lolly stick on a wall then refuse to pay the �75 fine!!!! x

[kevb0444]

Cut someones hair....could be classed as assault or ABH......

"D caused actual bodily harm to V by cutting off her pony tail. D went to the home of his ex-partner and cut of her pony tail with kitchen scissors."

The guy got sent to prison for a year!!!

[jno]

it's hard to say what happened here, and always tricky if you only have news reports to believe. I suspect what happened is that someone tried to hang himself, failed, and is now left a vegetable unable to care for himself, hence the need for money. The prison may have accepted responsibility because they're supposed to stop peope killing themselves (they frequently fail, but in most cases the people actually die.)

But do go ahead, I've often read that it's like a holiday camp in there so you should have a lovely time, even as a vegetable.

[Kathyan]

Isn't suicide against the law, or is this just a myth?

[ugly_bob]

think it used to be kathyan

[Kathyan]

But if it is how can they prosecute if you're dead?

But on the other hand if you fail, can't you be charged with attempted suicide?

[THECORBYLOON]

The 1961 Suicide Act means it is no longer an offence to attempt or commit suicide. However it is an offence to assist in the suicide. As far as I am aware, it's the only case where someone commiting an act can't be prosecuted but a person aiding in that act CAN.

[joko]

oh no! maybe i'll get life for attempted murder! of myself.

[Lonnie]

When it was against the law to commit suicide, theoretically, at least, you could be charged with attempted murder, because when you look at it in a certain way, your trying to murder yourself. You work it out.

[spinchimp]

Yawn. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn

[joko]

don't do that chimp, you will make everyone yawn too, it's catching you know...

but then you always did make everyone yawn, didn't you?

[:Ace:]

For a few months? Hmm...perhaps Murder?

Although you'll probably only get community service for that these days.

:Ace:

[berniecuddles]

tell tony blair he is doing a good job no dont you will get life in broadmoor

[jenstar]

Don't bother. Just wait a few years and the whole country will be one big prison anyway.