Pregant 11 year old - now a Mother.

[Drisgirl]

The 12 year old has had her baby girl.No great surprise the baby isnt well.It was either going to be her or the baby.Its such a sad case as I dont feel her wee body was able for such trauma.The Social Workers are now going to put her and her baby in care.Her mother accedes that abusers (drink / drugs) frequent her house.I so feel for this wee soul who has been thrust in to this adult world without the support of her family.

My point is - and I know it will be contencious - if that if it were my 11yr old - I wouldnt have allowed her to continue with the pregnancy - and that would have been my support to my child.Some girls - most in fact havent even started their periods by then - is that not natures way of telling you that they are physically not able to procreate.I dont feel happy for either at the outcome.

[noxlumos]

Hi Dris, how's you? Terrible tragedy the whole thing. I think it's the right decision if it's true that there are highly undesireable types frequenting where the baby will live, that at least for the time being, the girl and her baby live elsewhere, although for the girls good I think it is important that she maintains close contact with her mother as she'll be traumatised beyond words by the whole thing never mind about being forcibly put into care. It may give her the opportunity to break what appears to be a cycle whereby one young mother give birth to the next generation of young mother.

I can't agree with you about inflicting an abortion on a girl who is patently unwilling, as like as not she'd suffer for the rest of her life from that decision and grow to possibly hate you and herself. I would however explore all possibilities with her and give her all the support in the world whatever her decision.Even at her age, she dserves the right to be heard and to make her choice, I think it would be downright wrong, albeit done with love, to force her to have an abortion she did not want.

What we need is I think a massive shift in social perception, sex education that actually works and to stop the general dumbing down of the population which seems to be increasingly prevalent. Girls like this need to learn to value themselves froman early age so that this does not happen and that won't occur until other more serious social issues in their surroundings are addressed.

[Drisgirl]

I'm fine Nox-nice to hear from you.

I personally would have sat my 11/12 yr old down and given her the hard facts but not unkindly.-who am I to judge.She then would have to make her own decision but my daughter who is now 17 was still playing with Barbies at that age - at which point does the opinion of the parent become removed.I couldnt decide whether I wanted a Mint Cracknel or a Smash Ice Lolly at that age.

Thank gawd I didnt have to face that dilemna - but I'm afraid being me - I wouldnt have encouraged it.

[ianess]

Hi Drisgirl....nice to see you back.
It's a tragedy for everyone involved in this case but what surprises me is why Socal Services weren't involved so much sooner....this 12 year old is obviously needing to be in a relationship with an adult who really cares about her predicament and can even at this stage try to turn her life around.
I can't agree with your view on terminating the pregnancy however [that can be an equally emotive subject] but can only hope that the baby is OK and can go on to a decent life possibly away from such a disfunctional grandmother.
Like you say in another reply...what on earth has happened to childhood these days?

[jenstar]

"Some girls - most in fact havent even started their periods by then - is that not natures way of telling you that they are physically not able to procreate."

Obviously not the case in this instance!

[Drisgirl]

Hi ian - pop in now and again if I have had a brave pill !!!

Thanks for your reply - youre right the act of termination is a completely different and complicated issue.

I still would honestly not have allowed my daughter to go through that trauma.Surely as a parent-if you have your daughters best interests at heart - you must be able to have some input.I wouldnt want to lose my daughter and in this case there was a possibility - both could have been lost.The poor wee soul who has been dragged up and smoked heavily througout the pregnancy.

I agree - best thing for her is to remove her from such a disfunctional family.I dont know if the wee one is out the woods yet(:.

[Drisgirl]

jenstar - it is an absolute tragedy.I was in my mid to late 20's when I had my two and I'm assuming you have had babies.

It is the most traumatic painful frightening experience to endure - (the end results are my lifes blood and I would do that and more for them) but that doesnt detract from the fact - how can a 12 yr old endure that.Beats me!!!

Thanks for you reply tho:)

[WaldoMcFroog]

Given that the girl in question smoked 20 fags a day throughout the pregnancy (source: one of my wife's magazines, including photo of the silly bint smoking a B&H at eight months pregnant), I have to wonder whether that wasn't a large factor?

[sp1814]

Can someone post a link to the story. I remember the original story, but haven't seen the update.

[libertie]

Morning Drisgirl, yep sad story all round, can't help feeling that none of the kids in this family have much chance of a decent family life! Having said that I did say in an earlier post that, not knowing anything about the mother's upbringing, maybe she thinks that she is doing a grand job of bringing up her kids!! Just wish that some people would wake up to the fact that with rights come responsinbilties and I sincerely hope that this particular family get all the help they need to ensure that all the children involved get a decent chance to make something of their lives!

[spudqueen]

Sorry Drisgirl but if I had a daughter that age and in that predicament then I would rather let her go through the trauma of an abortion that the trauma of pregnancy and birth.

[Drisgirl]

Thanks everyone for your answers - was temporarily off AB - dont know but I'm back in case you thought I was being ignorant.
Spud queen - I dont know if I made myself very clear but I did infer or say that I couldnt let my daughter go through with the birth - both physically and emotionally.
She was blootered when she got pregnant at 11 and smoked heavily whilst giving her interviews.
She has been let down big time by her nearest and dearest.I so feel for the wee soul - I just think that she has already been moulded into their mindset and she wont change now.Bless her and the wee one - rough ride ahead.