Ethics smethics, sorry missjef, These do-gooders really pi$$ me off, excuse the french, they don't have to deal; with it, you have taken the common sense attitude, and well done.
You may or may not know, I have an Autistic daughter, 22 years old, with a mental age of about 20 months all round, she hasn't started her monthlies, and to be honest, it scares the life out of me.
I've discussed this same issue with my wife many times, and we came to the same conclusion that that darling little girls parents came to, and we've discussed it with the her consultant.
Lets face it, these two girls, and others like them, have a right to life, the best that can be provided, but they will always be in care, i'll give you an example of what can happen, and the burden it puts on others,
True story, I have a cousin, happily married, her daughter is on the Aspergers side of Autism, she wanted to prove she's a woman, moved in with her slightly metally disabled boyfriend, had a baby, she can't cope, my cousin looks after them, the baby, their house, her house, her husband and other child, unfortunately, they live about 300 miles away, so all we can do is keep in touch an d give moral support.
Sorry for the tirade, this sort of thing really gets to me.