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legend758duo | 13:27 Mon 11th Jun 2007 | Body & Soul
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Why is it that a homosexual can call a gay man a f@g or a queen or a lesbian a dike and its ok.
Buti f a heterosexual was to use theose same phrases theyd be labeled homophobic?Why can a woman call another woman a b!tch or a c0w and its a giggle ," shes a cheeky c0w eh?" but if a man says it theres a posse of women wanting his nuts on a skewer?And in the news why can a person of afro cariibean or african american descent use the " N " word and its hip ,cool,street .As in yo my " n" , wassup ma " N" , that " N" rocks .
But if someone of a caucasian descent does the same its an outrage?
Are there double standards in life when it comes to what can and cant be said?
Is it political correctness gone wrong or is it just the case " do as i tell you to do , but not as i do myself ?"
This is a serious question so try and give coherent and sensible answeres.
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It's the identifier that negates the criticism and makes such terms acceptable.

You see exactly the same in families - they can insult each other, but woe betide anyone outside the family saying the same thing.

It is clannish, tribal behaviour that is inherent in each and every one of us to some degree. 'One of us, so it's ok.'
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I really don't care about this subject and don't understand why people are often moaning about it. Okay, I can see it is double standards, people should not use words themselves that they don't want others to use about them but why do people get so het up about the fact they can't say n****r, p**i, fag, etc, while other people can get away with it? Why would you want to say them anyway? Perhaps black people do refer to eachother as n****r, gay people as fags, etc, but knowing that I, a white, straight person, would cause offence if I used them I really don't have any problem with not saying them, my life is not affected in anyway just because I would cause offence with the use of words when other people would not. I wouldn't want to use the words anyway.

Don't really agree that women accept certain words from eachother more so than they do from a man though. If either a male or a female friend refered to me as a b***h or something I would take as the teasing it was from either sex, likewise if a stranger in the street referred to me as something, I would take offence in equal measure whether it was a man or a woman.
Doesn't it also depend on the context of what you're saying and the way you say it?

For example I'd quite happily call my friends cows, in a joky manner and that's how it would be interpreted, as a joke. However if I said it nastily about someone then that word suddenly becomes an insult.
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Hmmm, i say what i want to everyone and noone ever has a go at me for it.
I think it depends who you are and the context which your saying it in.
I do get challenged sometimes actually for saying things but i always counteract with a good reason. Once they understand that i have an answer for every question they usually just call me ignorant or racist or chauvenist...
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well pau l i did read a thread on a site where a certain woman complained about being called love or dear in a shop.
i think a guy posted that he should be called sir tho!!!
my fookin arse matey.

i think people are naturally confrontational and seek any excuse to fall out.

look at me im quiet and still people wanna fall out with little ole me . lol
But the two other girls did not use the word in the same context. Emily used the word, directing it at another girl as a label, 'you n****r'. The other two used the word in discussion, not to direct it at another person.
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But whether it was intended as racist insult or not the word is in itself is a derogatory and racist word and so I don't think it would be unresonable for members of the viewing public to take offence to its use.
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I was going to say it's all in the delivery but actually I think it's how the comment is received. I've been called 'darlin' by cheerful workmen and it's taken as intended but I've also been called 'darling' by men where it was given and i perceived it as a derogatory term.
But I once told another girl she was lucky her skin didn't burn as I was so fair skinned I always got sunburn. It didn't bother her but her Mum complained to my boss that I was racist - I was so shocked as I was actually unaware the girls mother was indian and it still wouldn't have changed the truth of my statement.

It's a completely different thing to aim the word at someone than it is to discuss the fact that someone had said it.

Am I missing something? Did Nickey and Charley use the word in any other sense other than in discussing the fact that Emily had said it?
Regarding Blacks using the 'n'word I get the impression that it is used mostly by young,urban blacks.I saw a documentary recently that looked at this very issue....it would seem that the young will use the term without being aware of the history attached to it. Their parents or grandparents on the other hand who have experianced this word on a personal level, or who may be very aware of the civil rights movement don't see it as a very matey term! Triggerhappy mentioned the 'history' a word has-how right-especially if personal. I could never call any female friends a b****h.....I heard from my dad too many times....so I still see it as a rather nasty term.
pasta if anyone doesnt know the history of the N word, especially a black person then they are pretty dumb i have to say.
its used in london by young black and white youths as part of the street / gang culture.
im sure its been heard by many folk.
Oh I agree that the 'N' word is a common term and that its history is well known. But the way it is used by younger people may take the 'sting' out of it.....but their parents may remember too well the intensity of its usage as a very derogitory and rascist term.. But lets face it...a lot of words that a generation ago would have caused blushing and fainting(lol) have become part of day to day usage. Haah!...the world marches on or something to that effect...

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