Why?

[zena-lisa]

Why do we love people who don't deserve us? I'm a kind,sensible and mature young lady but my girlfriend(I'm lesbian) is a total loser.I don't mean that in a nasty way but she is selfish and rude,nasty,intolerent and spoilt rotten.So why do I love her? All my friends say I should get rid and one even called her evil! Should I just ignore the fact I love her and get out of the relationship?

[raysparx1]

Sorry zena only you can decide that, I could not be with somebody like that, but if you love her, how can I or anybody else tell you what to do.

[tigwig]

Hi zena, I think you answered your own question yes you should get out of the relationship unless your girlfriend is willing to change her ways. Everyone deserves to be in relationship that is loving and happy with trust and it doesn't sound like yours has any of that. Go out and find someone else you deserve.

[zena-lisa]

The thing is she's not horrible she just seems that way.She can be so lovely when she wants and does some really sweet things but the other side just ruins everything.The truth is I could never lose her because I love her and she is so unique.I mean who else would call me a cauliflower as a term of enderment? I would miss her high pitched voice,silly giggle,tantrums,and the way she says"I told you my way would work" EVERYDAY!!!

[zena-lisa]

And I KNOW she would NEVER cheat on me and does love me. I trust her that way. That counts for a lot doesn't it?

[Pippa68]

If you aren't ever going to leave her I don't know why you have asked that last question...

[raysparx1]

zena, are you happy ? and yes if you trust her 100% that counts for a hell of a lot, but the main aim in life should be happiness.

[jno]

are you by any chance Russian?

[zena-lisa]

I might leave her and would like people's advice.I'm torn as to what to do.She loves me and would never cheat on me.She is so loyal and thinks the world of me but I need to decide if that is enough.

[zena-lisa]

No I'm not Russian jno.

[bigmamma]

If you are unhappy then you need to look at what you want out of and what you can give to make this work.
I think I may know who you are describing and only you can decide if you want to stay .

[Pippa68]

Write a list.

Pros & cons of staying with her. If one list is bigger than the other go with that one. If they are equal then chuck the list in the bin.

Personally, if you have to ask a bunch of strangers advice on a relationship we know absolutely nothing about...and only YOU knows how hard it is to deal with I would chuck in the towel if I were you..as her 'other side' ruins all the good stuff it's a no-brainer to me.

[raysparx1]

I am a bit lost here, you love her, she loves you, she will never cheat, she adores you, you would miss her terribly, what more do you want from a relationship?, a lot of people would love to have what you have, sit down and think about what it will be like without her, I can't see why you are even thinking of splitting up.

[zena-lisa]

thanks Pippa.I've actually been on AB for years but never been on B&S I didn't dare! But with a new username I bravely took the step to enter and you're not THAT scary afterall! Thanks for the advice.I think she is just so young and needs to grow up maybe when she is my age she will be a delightful young woman and then I will be walking down the street and thinking that I gave that up.

[Pippa68]

Well zena, relationships take lots of work...lol.

All I know is that I have faults, Mr Pippa has faults (more than me, I hasten to add ;o) and even though we have had ups, downs & sideways times I have never thought about leaving him...and we have been through some cr4p, I tell you!

You have to sit down & write that list. It will help, honest.

[sexyrussiann]

I agree with raysparx.I think you should stay with her and forgive her shortcomings.I'm sure she loves you and that's the main thing.And I'm sure if your girlfriend was reading this now she would be very hurt that could even think about dumping her.She loves you and you lover her so just be happy because you know that even if you were to dump her you would always come running back to her.

[Pippa68]

zena obviously isn't that happy is she?

And how do you know zena will go running back..she might just find someone better..or realise she is better off without her.

If she has concerns about this relationship they need ironing out now.

[sexyrussiann]

She up you nasty woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[raysparx1]

pippa you are right any concerns need talking about and sorting, no good bottling things up is it, the list is a good idea, I think we are looking at this one from different angles.
:-))

[redcrx]

last time you posted about your boyfriend, zena. Many thought you were the russian then too.

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion429898.html

[cazzz1975]

are you this bored you have to keep inventing crap russian??? zena.