Parents responsibility

[MrBen5]

Just watched the news (no link) on the young boy murdered.
The parents were saying that the killers parents are to blame as they have brought him up like that.
My question is, should parents be held accountable for their childrens actions?
If so, what punishment should be given. Are you confident you know what your kids get up to?

[Dolly1308]

Yes they are .

[Lonnie]

To a certain extent, yes they are, and in most cases, I think the parents should be punished for their childs actiions, but to qualify that , gets harder the worse the crime. and in this case, (Rhys Jones), what punishment do you give to parents of a child that murders another child.

[andrea81]

Come on... although there are bad parents and I do believe those children who commit crime are more likly to come from homes that lack dicipline and order, but arn't we missing the point!

I have a wonderful neighbour who has done right by all of her children and has a fantastic relationship with them accept one! Their middle child is a drug abuser, has been homless (of her own choice) and has been in serious trouble with the law. Now are we suggesting these parents become targeted?

Don't think so..... children need to fear the law, this justice system does not work and far too many children are becoming 'law' savy!

Parents do have a responsibility but punishment to the criminal is what we need!

[johnlambert]

I found a link to this question here
In my opinion the parents of the killer (if they know for sure that their offspring is the killer) should come forward to the police

[andrea81]

Of course they should come forward if they think their child is the killer. But for fear of procecution themselves, like some suggest. I doubt they will!

[LoftyLottie]

1. Yes, the parents are responsible.

2. Punishment would be very difficult. However, at the very least all other children in the family should be taken into care.

3. Noone can be 100% confident what their children are doing, but most resonsible parents are quite clued up about their children's behaviour.

[anotheoldgit]

It is obvious that the parents can not be responsible for their children all the time, but they should burden some of the responsibility, just as an owner does for their dog.

The first step would be to forbid them to play on the streets. I have seen parents allow their children to play out in the streets in all weathers and after dark, this can't be right. One can also see large groups of kids hanging around the streets, when the councils have provided play areas, recreational grounds, and parks. But they would rather play or hang about the streets than walk the small distances to these areas.

Then the police need to operate a zero tolerance as regards kids congregating in numbers on the streets, shopping precincts etc.and also operate a curfew for them to be off the streets at a certain time, without reasonable cause.

We have tried the softly softly approach for far too long, and the present increasing problems is a direct result. We now have to get tough immediately, it is almost too late now.

[andrea81]

Maybe we should look at other european countries and take not on how they deal with it! Goody-two-shoes and human rights people have a lot to answer for!

[sandbach99]

Yes parents are responsible for their children, but the responsibility becomes less as the child grows but never disappears totally.

A child must be taught the difference between right and wrong, have times when they must come in, spending money not an endless supply of money etc, this is the responsibility of the parents.

Unfortunately the best parents can have a black sheep who dispite all care will be naughty and disobedient, these parents should be able to get help which is not available at present.

Having said that 20 years later my children tell me what they got upto as teenagers, nothing criminal but certainly things they know I would not have let them do. Swimming in the canal being one, not just in the canal but in the locks|

[dfward]

parents should be held accountable for their offspring....... although the soft approach by this country is also to blame for the present troubles

[Lonnie]

You can't pin the responsibility down to any one thing, but yes, the parents must take the lions share of it, and if this young murderer is still living at home, and they don't give him up, then they are just as responsible as he is.

[Le Chat]

If it were my child who had killed this poor boy (which it would never be in a zillion years) I would march him down to the police myself and yes, I would be absolutely damning of myself, in that I had failed to bring him up without the decency to treat every other person with dignity and respect. The blame would lay firmly and squarely at my shoulders because I would be responsible for the person that he has become.
Some of these scallys are just turfed out onto the street and left to their own devices. The parents are not interested in how their children live their lives - as long as they're not bothering them in their lives. A girl on the news - an ex 'gang moll' at 15 from that area (Croxteth) was being interviewed. She could barely string a sentence together and was as rough as they come....obviously her parents thought it was great that she was being interviewed for TV and talking about the gang and crimes she had been involved in...so it just shows the mentality of these really ineffective, thick and abysmal parents.
As the daughter of someone who came from the area when it was a decent place, I am utterly ashamed of the scum that has taken over....

[agora]

How can we know when they are away from us legitimately as often as they are? They, and us, are in this twilight world of discovery. We cannot rob them of their freedom but we need to guide discreetly! They have to learn from their mistakes but have a cushion of reassurance at home. communication is vital but elusive ...just be there!

[naomi24]

Yes, parents are generally ultimately responsible for their children's behaviour. If children are brought up with decent standards in the first place, there's a good chance they'll turn out to be decent people, and they won't be carrying guns and knives, or mixing with and admiring people who advocate violence. Discipline and education should start early - and the earlier the better. It's hopeless to wait until children are teenagers before parents actually say 'no'. It's true you can't watch teenagers all the time, but you can and should know where they are, you should know who their friends are, and you should watch younger children constantly regardless of their age. Parents who allow children to aimlessly roam the streets are reneging on their responsibilities. Say 'no' when 'no' is appropriate, despite of the tantrums, or in the case of older children, arguments, that will no doubt ensue. It's not the easy way, but it works, and in the end you save yourself, and your children, a lot of grief.

As for punishment, that's a hard one. I suppose the only way is to hit these parents where it hurts them most - and that's generally in the pocket - but make it tough - really tough.

By the way, anyone noticed the distinct lack of response here from the politically correct brigade who usually quite avidly find excuses the behaviour of hoodlums?

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, you mean the likes of ChinaDoll, Good(double standards)Soulette and SP1814 but ti name a few?

[I.Don No]

my answer to the original question is quite simple.

of course parents are responsible for their children's actions, and should be held accountable.

While my three children were growing up I knew where they were and who they were with.....that's what I signed up for and that's what I did.

'tis a pity you don't have to have a licence to have a child but you do for a telly......go figure!

[China Doll]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/News/Question44 7080.html

Or perhaps the question has already been asked.

[tigerlily11]

andrea81 I agree with the statement about your naighbor. I have had the same problem with my middle son.
My other three children are good hardworking people and the youngest is just starting college but the son above him is out there somewhere doing I don't know what. Hes 21 now and old enough to know better, but I cannot tell you why he has choosen this course of life. All of my kids went through the same tough time but for some reason he wanted to be in with the bad boys.

[andrea81]

Tigerlily, i think it's easy to blame parents, but it's not the answer! There are good parents and bad, something needs to be said for the lack of policing. when do you eveer see a bobby on the beat?

[I.Don No]

andrea81
there is no deterrent today but discipline starts at home.
more bobbies on the beat would certainly help, but only if those they catch and convict serve a full and harsh sentence.

tigerlily11
As for your 21 year old son...he is old enough to chose his own path and be responsible for any consequences of his own actions. A parent's job is a very hard one and one that never stops no matter how old their child is. I understand where you are coming from...we still worry for our children no matter their age. It is sad that he seems to have chosen that particular path but he has made his own bed so let him lie in it.....you just can only do what I have done in the past...be there to help him pick up the pieces.