the end of relationships

[barclay]

My boyfriend has just broke up with me, and I am pretty devastated about it. He said he doesnt feel the same way anymore and he has stopped loving me! Being a typical female i dont really understand this. I love him so much and since we have started going out I have only grew to love him more. Is this just a phrase that people use to break up with you? Or can you actually fall out of love with someone? Ive been hearing the usual from all my friends and family, you get over him, someone better will come along. Is it totally stupid to be thinking, that I only want him back? If anyone has some good words of wisdom I would love to hear it. All I can think about is him and everything reminds me of him!! Im just an upset girl who would like some advice. To either get over him or get him to love me back. No harsh words please im pretty fragile at the moment. Thanks

[andrea81]

Sorry to hear this that. But my honest answer is symple.

1) You can't and shouldn't try to make someone love you. If you succeed get him back, it's only be for a short while and he'll feel the same.

2) Hearing people say you will get over him with time and there is plenty more fish in the sea ar horrible to hear coz you can't see the light, but HONESTLY it is true!

Hang tight x x x

[Bewlay Bros]

I am afraid it is over.

You can not force somebody else to love you, nor should you. Surely, you would want to be in a relationship with somebody who loves you for what you are, not what you pretend to be in order to make them love you.

Listen to the advice. Yes, they are old chestnuts and sayings from a bygone age, but time really is a great healer and there are plenty more fish in the sea.

I imagine you are young so see this as a lesson learnt at the university of life. Learn from it and move on.

My own personal advice would be to cut him out completely. Do not text him (however tempting), do not go out of your way to see him (maybe by a planned "accident") and do not speak with his friends unless they are FIRM friends of yours as well.

This chapter is now closed. You must pick up the pieces and wait to see what lifes rich tapestry has in store for you now!!!

Who knows what it may be?

[Bewlay Bros]

I wish I typed faster, then we wouldn't have repeated the same thing (basically).

I forgot to add,

Bless your heart barclay.

[the arab]

hello baby. you know the best thing to do (and this is comming from an expert) is to jump straight into bed with another man and have meaningless sexual times. This will take the edge off what has happened to you and you will get over it much more quickly. Im actually free this weekend if I can be of any sevice.

Hope this helps

[sausagechips]

Barclay, I know how you are feeling, as do thousands of women out there!
Jumping in bed with another man will not help!
Like everyone says time is the best healer.

My ex left me for my 'best friend', i had no one to talk to and felt so alone, i literally spent about 2 weeks just crying! after time it got easier. i never asked for him back, i wouldnt want him anywhere near me!
Anyway they lasted about 3 weeks and he came running back to me saying how sorry he was etc etc. F**k off was the response both of them got off me. anyway what i am trying to say is just be strong!
Dont chase after him, and keep yourself busy but dont rush into another relationship or sleep with someone it will only make you more confused.

[sausagechips]

so the arab.... its the norm for you to jump into bed with abother man when a relationship finished.
Is there something we should know? like is your chinese g/f actually a chinese rent boy? lol

[barclay]

Thanks for all your good advice. Its not that I want to make him love me again, I just kind of got the feeling when we broke up he wasnt 110% sure of what he was doing. He said he wanted to be mates?? I of course said no, I would rather cut all ties, like he didnt exsist, I just think its easier that way. i am def not going to txt him or make any contact with him. But do you think it is def too late? Have i lost him for good??

[barclay]

thank you so much sausagechips! You actually made me smile for the first time in days. all I have done is cry and I cant stop thinking about him. I am trying my very best to keep myself busy. i am hoping that in a few weeks time he will come running back to me, and hopefully i am strong enough to say **** off too. I can only imagine how horrible that would be to find out my boyfriend hooked up with my mate. I would be gutted. Thanks for your advice.
You must be a very strong person, I admire you

[MiniN]

poor you barclay.

it is an upsetting time. if your boyfriend finished it he must mean it, try not to hold out hope he'll come begging back to you.

the old sayings about fish in the sea are totally annoying and can feel hurtful coz you can feel it diminishes your feelings the you had for your fella. but life will go on and you will find your Mr Right, instead of your Mr Right-Now.

Just remember the old addage ...........................
...................... this too shall pass.

[sausagechips]

Thanks Barclay, i am glad i have made you smile! lol
I completely lost all faith in men and decided i wanted to be single, for 7 months infact, now i am with a gorgeous bloke who treats me like a princess and am so glad what happened happened cos i would never have met my dave if that hadnt have happened.
I always think that everything happens for a reason!
I know it must be really hard for you at the moment, try and see your friends and get out a bit ( although dont get wasted cos you dont want to end up crying and ringing your ex drunkenly in the middle of the night)
You sound like a nice person and dont deserve to be hurt like that...just think anyone who can hurt you like that and watch your pain is definitely not woth your tears.

I know your probably thinking 'easier said than done' and for a while i would have got back with my ex but i thought to myself how can i even be considering trusting and loving someone who could even consider hurting me this much.

[the arab]

ohhhhh daaaawg you got me there. My offer still stands though.

Hope this helps

[barclay]

that is so true sausagechips. I had 1 other serious relationship before this one, which ended. And I ended up moving back home. When I met this boyfriend I thot that was why I moved back home, was to meet him. I really thot we were meant for each other.
at first it was amazing, but after a few months he started to be less interested in seeing me. i just put it down to the honeymoon period being over.
I always thot that he was too good for me!! i dont know why, but I just thot he could always do better. Now that we have broken up I have even less self asteem. I just dont understand how people can fall out of love?? is it something I am doing?

[sausagechips]

Dont be silly, its nothing you are doing.
Men get bored easier than women(sorry to be so blunt). I dont think he can have totally fallen out of love with you, its something that you would need to discuss with him, and something only he could answer. But if you have been with someone a long time you are bound to care about each other.

How old are you? and him?
Maybe he's just had second thoughts on settling down etc and is scared of getting old.

How long have you been together?

And remember what doesnt beat us makes us stronger. And that is something that i definitely believe!!! what happened with me and my ex has taught me so much and made me a stronger person, and in a way i am glad it happened.

[sausagechips]

and he obviously went our with you for a reason, so dont put yourself down saying that he is too good for you!!!
No man is ever too good for us women!

they should all be lucky to have us!

[barclay]

thanks for that. He is 23 and i am 28, everyone said he was too young for me. But we both had the same interests and lots in common. i think we both met in the middle maturety wise. I always told him I was happy with the way things were going and that i was in no rush to settle down and get married. We had been together 8 months, it seems longer cause we spent alot of time together.
More than anything i just miss him, and his family. i got on really well with his parents too. And I am really sad i am never going to see them again.

[foodluva]

Barclay,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Feel like I'm repeating everyone else's sentiments but time IS a great healer (annoying to hear, I know). A broken heart is awful! A few years ago my husband announced to me that he 'was in love with someone else'. I totally did not see it coming and thought my world had ended. I too, wondered how he could just change emotions so quickly but I never really got any answers to that.

I don't think think the 'staying friends' thing works. I went 'cold turkey' and got through it. I lost friends and his family along the way but got through it. Stay strong! It won't be long til you wake up in the morning and feel a little bit stronger and more able to face the day. I promise!!!! Keep busy to take your mind off things. Since my marriage ended I have gained a university degree, a new career and met a wonderful guy with whom I am now living. Stick in there!

Best wishes xx

[stevie1time]

Couple of thoughts i allways turned to get myself over the feeling of rejection,but not just in my ex naffing me off and living the singleton life( which is great by the way) but also in general **** you off,sad ***** moments in life....My old man would allways say,when you feel down,a tad depressed,struggle to see a happy near future,get ******!!!! Nah just kidding..He'd say,our little worries are nothing compared to some, i.e some people are terminal,some have no limbs,some no homes,some no friends,life or family...i think he meant concentrate on what you do have and not whats gone..........At the end of the day,its his loss,with that loss one day being someone else's greatest ever gain......Not sure if that makes sense,but thought id post it pet!!! The other thought i'l save for another day ;-)