Before you do this, you might want to try this to get a good feel of the pain level you will find yourself in. Place your left testis in a vise and gradually, what the hell, do it as quickly as you can, close the vise grip to 100 thousandths of an inch between each side of the vise teeth. If all goes well, what the hell, knock yourself out. Or shall we say gouge yourself out.
If anyone 'reading' this actually knows what it is like to have gouged their own eyes out with a plastic spoon, then how the hell would they be able to be reading this web site in the first place...