Am I anti social.

[Velvetee]

What's wrong with me. I prefer my own company to that of others?

My partner is out playing cricket all day and I'm absolutely basking in the fact I can be alone, lie in bed watching TV tapping away on my keyboard and not having to interact with anyone.

I've been offered a pampering weekend at a spa and most women like to take a few girlfriends along, so they can sit in the hot tub gossiping. Not me, the thought of spending a weekend with my female friends all bitching about how terrible their men are etc and their problems, most of which are of their own making, fills me with dread.

Often when friends call, I don't answer the phone. I always have to feign concern over their personal angsts and few of them ever ask how I am; they're only concerned with talking about themselves. I rarely want to actually go out with any of them either. Don't get me wrong, I quite like these friends, but can only take them in very small doses.

I know so many people who thrive on company and need to have people around them at all times. I couldn't bear that. Am I normal, do other people feel like I do or is there a Psychopath lurking beneath?

[showcatbenga]

Welcome to the hermit club! ;-)

[bensmum]

At last - someone who feels the same as me!

[MrLee-Gend]

Has anyone seen dot btw?

[Velvetee]

Bensmum, you're making me feel like perhaps I am normal. Surely not interacting on a face to face basis with others is unhealthy or is it just a norm created by society?

[Kanewood]

Not at all. We're not all confident outgoing party animals. Some of us just like our own company. It would be a pretty boring world if we were all the same. I like my friends too, but in small doses, like you.

[joggerjayne]

velvetee, from the conversations we've had on here in the past about you chap, I think I'd want his company ALL the time !!!!!!

[stonekicker]

no, you're not weird - people are hard b****y work! when me and my hubby still spoke to extended family and had a plethora of friends each, life was hectic and we fell out with everyone all the time. now we don't speak to anyone, it's great! quiet, able to do what you want and no rows...lovely

[Velvetee]

I don't like people coming to the house either. if I have to meet friends, I'd rather do it outside at a restaurant or other social venue. Entertaining them in the home is like a fate worse than death, plus they never know when the hell to leave.

[Velvetee]

Joggerjane, you can have him. I'm right off sex too. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's a form of depression.

[showcatbenga]

It could be a sign of depression but mostly when it's a change from your 'norm'. If you've always been like this then you just value your own company & there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Both my mother & myself prefer to live alone. My mum has a very active social life but still likes to be on her own. I just prefer to set my own schedule pleasing myself & answer to no-one. I find that if I want company I can get it, but I'm happy not going out for days at a time. I also use my answer phone to screen calls & don't answer the phone if I don't want to - the only exception is family but in ours the rule is 'no news is good news!'

[unhappychick]

It sounds like depression to me, isolating yourself from society, is not a good thing...sometimes you have to make yourself do things, even if it is an effort...in the end it will become the norm

[Postdog]

You aren't alone. Some people I know need to be around friends at every opportunity, but from the outside looking in, I see nothing but inane chit chat between them. That isn't for me, and I'd rather be alone and do my own thing than rely on others.

I want the place to myself. If I need a friend, I ring one up or go to see them, but other than that, I want my privacy.

[stonekicker]

to the last two posters - not necessarily a sign you need the bouncy room...most people i meet are just @rse$. its only a bad thing when you really do become a hermit and spend more than two weeks in bed. social contact is a high maintenance activity and with my family, job, studies and day to day crap, i just haven't got the energy to put up with others - i'd rather read a book, sleep or have a long soak in the bath...

[Velvetee]

They do say people who need others around them 24/7 tend to be insecure and lack confidence. It's apparently important to be comfortable with your own company.

[razmataz]

I want to know what Jayne is referring to when she says she likes the sound of Velvetee's man. Is he a generous lover?

[sam100]

You are not alone! I very often feel the same.

Why go out for a night and sit bored stiff and listen to a load of women slagging people off for very little reason. Although i am female i have never really enjoyed the company of groups of women. Lifes to short to sit and discuss superficial things like whether your top matches your shoes or if your having a bad hair day.

I can honestly say i am far happy in my own company and i don't feel guilty about it. Occassionally its nice to go out but not all the time.

I would rather save the money and travel or go to special things than waste it going out or being bored.

The only thing that does concern me is the not answering the phone thing. My friends all know that i wont be joining them for night is the pub at weekends and they are OK with it and respect it...but it doesnt mean that i wouldnt answer the phone to them as thats a bit rude.
Also the not getting out of bed bit...these two things could mean your a bit depressed which is ok but you perhaps need to find out if you are and if so then why.

[jennyjen02]

I'm young and probably don't know much about this kind of thing, but I say that as long as you are happy, it shouldn't matter how you get that happiness. If being on your own is what you like, why should orthodoxy stop you?

[wakeover]

May I suggest that you are somewhat paranoid about this state of mind you currently have. You don't like social intercourse and yet you post a question which would, and has , attracted many answers which you have read and even responded to.
Do you do shopping over the 'net' or do you actually trawl around supermarkets weekly and stand in line with others at the checkout?
This mental attitude could lead to further problems. As showcatbenga said, 'welcome to the hermit club' but sadly it's no joke. Your condition needs the advice of a Doctor.