"Be yourself"

[lovefoolb4u]

Some people might find this silly, but if I'm in a situation where I should "be myself", e.g. starting a new job, meeting new people etc, I always find it difficult.

I wouldn't say that I pretend to be someone I'm not, I just find myself maybe a bit too reserved. When in reality, if you asked any of my friends, they'd tell you I'm so so hilarious and witty, intelligent etc. Just a good larf and a harf in general. I just find it hard being like that with new people.

Anyone have any advice as to how I can unwind and learn to be myself with new people?

Thaaanks

[mirela]

i feel quite same when i was in new places. i have tried to force myself to go out, to socialise with people stuff even i dont enjoy the late drinking... also try to keep senseless converstaion with people just for get involved in.
now, basically, i just cannot be bothered to do it anymore. i realised people who like you will respect the way you are, people are not in common with you will never become your friends doesnt matter how hard you try. and it always takes time for you to get used to new people and get all your wittyness back, so just take it easy, be yourself, you will make some real friends who appreciate who you are:)

[puddicat]

I take alot for granted, i am lucky i have no hssles meeting new people and like to put people at ease especially new staff, i think to a certain degree we inherit certain traits,my eldest is ver y confident like me, and my youngest not, like his Father!!!!

[Velvetee]

Lovefoolb4u, I'm the same. I think with me, when I'm at work, I like to keep people I'm not that interested in at arms length. Few people really know the real me.

I suppose it's natural to feel reserved around new people as you know they will be judging you from the moment they set eyes on you. I suppose you wouldn't want to come across as loud or mouthy.

[boogieboogie]

Most people do this, it's natural. However you are being you by doing this, ironically. Projecting another image of yourself is yourself at work.
But by pretending to be someone else entirely different can lead people to think you are a little odd, you would give off signs of incongruence, body language would be hard to read, you would be inconsistant and people may think that wiered.

[WhiteBear]

hey lovefoolb4u

im exacly the same!how bizzare? lol.

it can be hard being myself espeically im surrounded by posisitve and confident ppl. in reality im shy and quiet person, but i do make an effort now to particpate in convos at work. but because i work with Male dominated office i feel alot more confident because i know men dosnt take things seriously, so we all just joke around and mess about. we just talk about sports and films and not much about personal stuff. but sometimesit does get serious... i just stay out of it.

i dont understand why ppl say 'just be yourself' ... i dont think i can do that around ppl. its not pretending to b someone else , u r just discounting the negative things about you, and just showing the good side of you.

the only advise i can give you is just, take a few deep breaths and relax. and always smile and never look nervous :)
take care xxx