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negative comments from teacher
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Hi All,
My son is nearly 7 and in my oppinion as bright as a button, caring, and fun loving.
My reason for writing on here is that every time we go to parents evening all we get is negative comments, each time my husband and i leave we are very down.
He is of average ability, i would say good at maths and specialy good on the creative side and yet on parents evening all we get is he lacks concentration and doesnt always pay attention..If he gets a bit of praise its always backed up with a negative.
Should the teacher not be solving the problem? maybe he is bored!!! I have even started giving him pocket money on a friday as long as he does ok in the week, and spoke to the teacher and asked if she could let me know the weekly outcome, all i get from her is silly little remarks which are nothing at all to do with education. On his last report card the head wrote in her comment box. CLEARLY ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. HE IS ONLY 6!!!
Anyway parents evening is looming again, any pointers as to what we should say would be much appreciated.
thanks
My son is nearly 7 and in my oppinion as bright as a button, caring, and fun loving.
My reason for writing on here is that every time we go to parents evening all we get is negative comments, each time my husband and i leave we are very down.
He is of average ability, i would say good at maths and specialy good on the creative side and yet on parents evening all we get is he lacks concentration and doesnt always pay attention..If he gets a bit of praise its always backed up with a negative.
Should the teacher not be solving the problem? maybe he is bored!!! I have even started giving him pocket money on a friday as long as he does ok in the week, and spoke to the teacher and asked if she could let me know the weekly outcome, all i get from her is silly little remarks which are nothing at all to do with education. On his last report card the head wrote in her comment box. CLEARLY ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. HE IS ONLY 6!!!
Anyway parents evening is looming again, any pointers as to what we should say would be much appreciated.
thanks
Answers
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Ask if there is anyway you can sit in on a class... this may be difficult due to all the red tape but it is an idea.
Despite how young he is though kids have a way of playing up when parents aren't there. Perhaps he could be acting differently in school?
Don't take this the wrong way but due to my job I deal with a lot of 'naughty' children and as of yet I have never met a parent who has just accepted that their child isn't a lil angel when i call them to say their lil cherub has been caught stealing or smashing someone's window.
Despite how young he is though kids have a way of playing up when parents aren't there. Perhaps he could be acting differently in school?
Don't take this the wrong way but due to my job I deal with a lot of 'naughty' children and as of yet I have never met a parent who has just accepted that their child isn't a lil angel when i call them to say their lil cherub has been caught stealing or smashing someone's window.
He isn't in my sons class ny any chance is he? I have two boys, last year we had similar comments about my older son from his teacher - I suggested that he was bored and wasn't being stretched enough - she did nothing about it - eventually she decided that he needed to be referred to speech and language therapy. We thought this was nonsence, but went ahead - speech therapys conclusion - he is bright and was bored. older son's new teacher has no problems with his concentration strangley enough! Younger son now has the techer that older son had last year. All of a sudden he has gone from being a "pleasure to teach" never lost any golden time to being in detention for not finshing his work.
We went to the head teacher after parents night as you could see that there was no comparison with his behaviour and abilities prior to going in the class to that after.
Anyhoo, the head is going to investigate, so that mmay be an option for you.
it is hard to hear nothing but negative comments - I know that no child is an angel, but they all have positive qualities and the teacher should be emphasising these - positive encouragement and all that.
I know that it is not possible to appeal to all kids interests all the time, but a teacher should be able to make any subject interesting enough to hold their classes attention. i believe as parents that we need to support the work that teachers do in the class, but when the teaching is falling short of the mark, I would raise this.
Have you been able to speak to any of the other parents to see what view they have about this teacher?
I would certainly question whether there is an action plan in place, what they are doing to support him in the classroom and what support you need to provide. It is simply not acceptable for them to expect that your son gazes out of the window for the next 10 years.
Teachers get well paid and
We went to the head teacher after parents night as you could see that there was no comparison with his behaviour and abilities prior to going in the class to that after.
Anyhoo, the head is going to investigate, so that mmay be an option for you.
it is hard to hear nothing but negative comments - I know that no child is an angel, but they all have positive qualities and the teacher should be emphasising these - positive encouragement and all that.
I know that it is not possible to appeal to all kids interests all the time, but a teacher should be able to make any subject interesting enough to hold their classes attention. i believe as parents that we need to support the work that teachers do in the class, but when the teaching is falling short of the mark, I would raise this.
Have you been able to speak to any of the other parents to see what view they have about this teacher?
I would certainly question whether there is an action plan in place, what they are doing to support him in the classroom and what support you need to provide. It is simply not acceptable for them to expect that your son gazes out of the window for the next 10 years.
Teachers get well paid and
It could be that the teacher is a naturally negative person.
Why don't you have a word with a few of his classmates parents to see how they fared on parents evening? If they all say the same thing then the problem obviously lies with the teacher and not the children.
At your next parents evening stay calm whatever the teacher says. If she continues to say he lacks concentration, point out to her that so do 99% of all 6 year olds. Tell her you specifically want to discuss his academic achievement and ignore any silly little comments she makes about anything else. Ask what you can do at home to help with his academic work.
It may well be that the teacher simply dislikes your son. It's a sad fact, but it happens. A friend of mine found out that her 7 year old daughter had spent time each day for a year working on her own facing a wall, simply because the teacher didn't like looking at the child. How cruel was that?
If you are still unhappy after the next parents evening, make an appointment to see the Headteacher.
Good luck.
Why don't you have a word with a few of his classmates parents to see how they fared on parents evening? If they all say the same thing then the problem obviously lies with the teacher and not the children.
At your next parents evening stay calm whatever the teacher says. If she continues to say he lacks concentration, point out to her that so do 99% of all 6 year olds. Tell her you specifically want to discuss his academic achievement and ignore any silly little comments she makes about anything else. Ask what you can do at home to help with his academic work.
It may well be that the teacher simply dislikes your son. It's a sad fact, but it happens. A friend of mine found out that her 7 year old daughter had spent time each day for a year working on her own facing a wall, simply because the teacher didn't like looking at the child. How cruel was that?
If you are still unhappy after the next parents evening, make an appointment to see the Headteacher.
Good luck.
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In my opinion and having worked in schools for many years (not as a teacher) I would not worry at all. He is only six years old. If he is fun loving, caring and socially acceptable and continues to learn at a reasonable rate you have nothing to worry about.
Having attended parents evenings (as a parent), and looking back on the grief they gave me, I really wish I hadn't taken too much notice of what I was told. Teachers love to make negative comments. It makes them feel important and gives them a bit of control over you. Don't be afraid to challenge them. Whatever you do don't let it affect your son. Your little chap sounds absolutely normal. If you make too much of this he will end up hating school.
Noone knows your child as well as you do.
Having attended parents evenings (as a parent), and looking back on the grief they gave me, I really wish I hadn't taken too much notice of what I was told. Teachers love to make negative comments. It makes them feel important and gives them a bit of control over you. Don't be afraid to challenge them. Whatever you do don't let it affect your son. Your little chap sounds absolutely normal. If you make too much of this he will end up hating school.
Noone knows your child as well as you do.
I am 100% in agreement too with Mrs Overall. To be honest some teachers are absolutely useless with boys and have no idea how to teach them. Girls tend to try hard to please and are very clever at behaving like little angels and love the praise that comes with it. Most little boys aren't so conniving and it takes a really good teacher who can inspire them to want to learn.
I wrote in my boy's (8) homework diary that he found the question asked hard to understand - I (38, BSc etc) agreed, but the teacher said "Send him to lunch time homework club if he doesn't understand it" I was furious - my boy's not giving up his lunch time because the teacher can't be bothered to take a little extra time to explain a question properly. Some of them, and I stress 'some' of them are doing our kids no favour.
In my daughters last school her performance on the whole was classed as poor, when she moved school she went up 8 levels. the school she went to prior was a failing school, the teacher's lesson planning was poor and all of the students were perfoming poorly. during the parents evening she blamed my daughter continually.
my daughter has since excelled in school since moving on, I would query why she is so negative and its worth remembering that kids pick up on negatives and this can affect their overall self esteem, if he thinks he is a failure then he will begin to believe it and stop trying.
my daughter has since excelled in school since moving on, I would query why she is so negative and its worth remembering that kids pick up on negatives and this can affect their overall self esteem, if he thinks he is a failure then he will begin to believe it and stop trying.
how about this? "he always does his best and that's all we can ask for. I've taken advise from a specialist (that's us) and we believe in concentrating on the positives, as he responds much better to praise than constant criticism."
it's shocking.. a lousy teacher can destroy a child's confidence and he's only 6, bless him.
best of luck x
it's shocking.. a lousy teacher can destroy a child's confidence and he's only 6, bless him.
best of luck x
five2two7,
thanks for your comment but my boy is not naughty by any means, had no complaints on that score, just the negative comments wearing me down, the school is very high achieving , small village school, but hey they all cant be brain boxes.
I try to help him at home as much as i can, downloading worksheets, reading etc etc but at the same time i dont want him to be overloaded with school work from me as well as school.
Anyway here is hoping that just maybe the teacher will have changed her opinion this parents evening !!
thanks for your comment but my boy is not naughty by any means, had no complaints on that score, just the negative comments wearing me down, the school is very high achieving , small village school, but hey they all cant be brain boxes.
I try to help him at home as much as i can, downloading worksheets, reading etc etc but at the same time i dont want him to be overloaded with school work from me as well as school.
Anyway here is hoping that just maybe the teacher will have changed her opinion this parents evening !!
Hi pammy , I live in Stirling in Scotland - it is a very small city, but a city all the same - no village school I'm afraid - the school is actually very good, however this particular teacher is just uninspiring and I think a bit lazy. She obviously didn't do much for my older son and so she tarred the younger with the same brush before he even had a chance - she obviously didn't bother to read his previous reports.
let us know how you get on - just remember that at the end of the day, you are paying her wages and she is there to do a job - part of that job is making sure that all children are engaged and motivated - she should be able to tell you what the action plan is for your son - remind her that you are there to support your son so that she can't put it on to you.
At his age, as far as I am concerned what you are looking for is social development, listening skills, motivation and happiness. Academic achievement will follow if all that is in place.
Do you get the impression that they are only interested in kids that are going to keep their academic percentages high?
let us know how you get on - just remember that at the end of the day, you are paying her wages and she is there to do a job - part of that job is making sure that all children are engaged and motivated - she should be able to tell you what the action plan is for your son - remind her that you are there to support your son so that she can't put it on to you.
At his age, as far as I am concerned what you are looking for is social development, listening skills, motivation and happiness. Academic achievement will follow if all that is in place.
Do you get the impression that they are only interested in kids that are going to keep their academic percentages high?
A doctor eh! you mean consultant.
My youngest wants to be a Judge. he has done since he was two and wanted to know who made the rules - rather than go into a big explanation about parliment etc. My husband told him that it was Judges and he now understands what Judes are and still wants to be one. It's great for motivation and i remind him every time he comes out with a lot of slang, that Judges don't speak like that. he thinks that they earn enough to buy a formula 1 racing car, which he is going to drive about on the back of truck as he knows that you cant drive them on the roads!
Best of luck anyway and let us know how parents night goes.
My youngest wants to be a Judge. he has done since he was two and wanted to know who made the rules - rather than go into a big explanation about parliment etc. My husband told him that it was Judges and he now understands what Judes are and still wants to be one. It's great for motivation and i remind him every time he comes out with a lot of slang, that Judges don't speak like that. he thinks that they earn enough to buy a formula 1 racing car, which he is going to drive about on the back of truck as he knows that you cant drive them on the roads!
Best of luck anyway and let us know how parents night goes.
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