The Case of the EX

[keelson01]

I just can't seem to get over my ex. We met over a year ago in Tanzania (East Africa) while I was there for AIDS research. I liked him when I was there but was afraid to say anything until I returned to the U.S. I finally told him how I felt and to my surprise he liked me too. We both decided to give it a try even though we knew the risk of long distance love. I totally fell for him and I have loved him since. I would stay up all night talking to him online for straight 5 months and I even lost weight due to lack of sleep. It was also costly talking to him on regularly basis. We talked about him moving to the U.S. or him waiting for me 2 years while I complete my master's. He later decided he didn't want to come here. He also didn't want to wait for 2 years for me. The break up was the most painful experience thus far in my life. It's been 9 months since it ended but I continue to have hope for us. It may sound silly but can't help it. We're both seeing other people but I still love him and can never love another man the same way ever again. We talk to each other once in a while online and it kills me that I could love a man so much but can't be with him. I keep this hope that we will be together again like the movie " The Notebook" and other romance novels and movies.

I don't know what to do... Please help

Sem

[sara3]

can lack of sleep make you lose weight? wow!

[keelson01]

yes you can on top of not eating much either....

[CheekyChops]

I'm confused - did you actually ever see each other once you had started your relationship or was it conducted entirely online?

[terambulan]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder......it's over, so try and move on. Not worth neglecting your health over.

He may show up in time (usually the most inconvenient) and you will wonder Y you were so besotted.

[hopefully86]

There is no quick fix, heartbreak takes over and chokes a person. Honestly I believe time is the ONLY way to heal. Of course you'll never love someone the same again, but you ARE ABLE to love again! Every time you love someone it's different, but that doesnt mean worse or better. The best thing though it may sound harsh is to get your head out of the movies and into reality. He wants someone there, now. He's obviously not who you're meant to be with if he can't compromise! It's no consolation, but it's better you find out now than years down the road when you're more attached. Nine months is nothing in break-up terms, and there is no cap on how long someone can hurt. It took me over two years to get over one of my exes, and I'll always love him in some way. I'm not an expert or anything close, all I know is what I've seen over and over again. You have to make a decision--->>>Do you love his memory or your sanity more? In the end it's up to you. If you're seeing someone else it's not fair to them that you're hung up on your ex. You need good friends, less sad movies, more time finding yourself, and self respect! You are obviously an intelligent woman if you are going for a master's degree, so be an amazing woman and show the world what he's missing! If he can't see that he isn't worthy of your love girl!

[keelson01]

The entire relationship was platonic. We never even hugged. It was mostly through online and on the phone. I think you guys are right about letting go even I have tried and still trying.

[Ice.Maiden]

Well I've just popsted something that's akin to what you're saying, although my friend has no idea whether a cyber relationship - to start out with - would work out, but she's smitten with this person anyway.
I have to say that it must hurt badly when someone you love wants to move on, but they say that you never forget your first love, so don't try. As time goes on, and if you get out and about more, you'll meet someone who isn't just a wonderful fantasy of what "might've been". Good luck anyway.