Can Attraction Grow?

[shanilisa]

I have met someone who is funny, intelligent and caring. We can talk for hours on end and seem to have the same outlook on life and what we want. The thing is that for me there is no "spark". Do you think that attraction can grow out of friendship or do you think that the spark has to be there from the start?

[sliver]

This works differently for different people. for me, it doesn't really grow but for some it does.

How would you feel about waking up each morning and seeing that person next to you? If it feels like a definite "no thanks", then it's probably not going to happen.

[andy-hughes]

It can often be that closeness grows because there is no sexual chemistry - and the addition of that dimension can cloud the issues that attracted you both in the first place.

Platonic relationships that work and last are as valuable as they are rare, so let things develop naturally if they will, but in my experience, it's not likely.

[sliver]

That said, don't expect a great relationship that is mostly based on just sexual attraction. That changes in time and you need more to base long term relationship on.

[pastafreak]

Personally-yes I do think that it can grow. I had a friend of several years standing,whom I even avoided at times because I did not want him to think that we were any more than friends. But love developed,as did physical attraction. maybe the two were tied together,I don't know. Previously-I would have always expected attraction to come first.

[lil123]

With the boyfriend I have at present his attraction on me as really grown.
At first I wasn't really that bothered but I can sit and talk with him for hours and spend loads time with him even just sitting and doing nothing.
I love the way he smiles and he has the most lovely blue eyes I have ever seen.
At first I never really noticed these things.
Our sex life is fantastic too and this too has grown.
I would say give it a chance xx

[paraffin]

No spark = no lust = no future = no point!

[beaniesq]

Agree with para. If there is no chemistry, it won't grow. I speak from personal experience - I spent 5 years with a guy who was a wonderful friend but who I wasnt sexually compatible with.

It didn't start out as a problem but it was the sole reason for the eventual demise of our relationship. Not only that, I lost him as a friend, too, which I am still very sad about.

The spark has to be there from the start.