Old Jack's a very shrewd operator. He should have completed the above sentence thus:
"I was busy compiling my latest expenses claim form when one of my multitude of minions, all paid for out of public funds, rushed into the 5 star restaurant, interrupting my extended lunch courtesy of Joe Public, sending my chateaubriand steak flying off the plate, drenching my Savile Row suit with that third bottle of vintage claret I'd just opened, sending my publicly funded bodyguards diving for cover and leaving me to the realisation that I'd have to crawl under the table to find the pencil I'd dropped in panic after the minion informed me that I'd have to pay back some of my hard fought for (sorry, that should be "hard earned") expenses."