I need your opinions/advice.............what would you do peeps?

[puma86]

Some of you may recognise me and know that I am expecting my first baby in December.
My mother lives in Greece and has said she would like to come over for two weeks when he is born.

Now, originally she said she would come over after he was born, which was fine, but has now said she would like to be here WHEN he is born which is also fine. He is due on the 27th and so she wants to come on the 28th. She was saying she was having problems with finding a way to get from Gatwick to 'wherever i am going to stay' and so I obviously said that we would pick her up from the airport. That left the 'wherever I am going to stay' part.
I ended up feeling I had to say she could come and stay with us, but I also thought it might be nice to have her around when he's born so I have a little help.
Anyway, I then went home and told the man of the house and he is not impressed........ at all!!
He feels it should be 'our' time when he is first born, and that we should have space to get settled with our new addition before anyone comes to stay with us. Also we were planning on a quiet, romantic night in on New Years Eve and now we may have my mum there?!
So, now i'm a bit stuck because after a very long chat with the man at home I agree with what he is saying and think I would prefer to be 'left alone' for a week or so when small man arrives. Thing is I have kinda said its ok for her to come to us now.
I want to keep her happy as I know she would really love to be here when her first grandson is born, and I would like her here for the birth.........................but I would then like some peace and quite before I have anybody to the house, let alone stay with us.

What do I do??? What would you do???
Kate :o)

P.S. sorry I think this was a lot longer than it needed to be. hehe

[Bbbananas]

I would go with your husband's wish. The first couple of weeks with a newborn is often relatively quiet as in they sleep an awful lot.... It's after that I think you will really appreciate the help. Spend the first week or so with your baby & your fella, have the New Year together - then have your mum over.
She may be disappointed - but she's a mum, so hopefully she will understand. x

[albaqwerty]

you are DUE on the 27th, not wishing to upset you but if you are 10 days late, then that would eat into the 2weeks your mum will be here. why not suggest she comes over after you're out of hospital.

[andy-hughes]

A little subtefuge is acceptable here - in the interests of not hurting your mum's feelings.

Tell her the midwife has re-calculated your due date for a couple of weeks later, then you can ring her and say baby has arrived 'early' and you would love her to come over in a couple of weeks, when you are over the birth. Keeps everyone happy.

[TheEqualizer]

Hi Kate

A problem, indeed, my lovely

There's one thing you can do, as i see it......firstly even though your baby is due on the 27th and as long as you're not booked for a caesarian, he could come anytime in mid to late December, even into January.
You can politely let mum know that as a result of this, and that you'll be so busy at that time, you'd like to get settled in first before having family over, as you would be so tired.
But suggest to her to come over to visit and see her grandson, a few weeks after the baby is born and that way, it gives you a chance to get used to the joys of motherhood without worrying about looking after mum too, especially as it will be Christmas.
Your OH is right and i would agree with him on this......It is so special when you have your first child, any child come to that, and you need the time to settle in.
(I have 4 children.....youngest is 8).

I wish you all the very best, Kate and congratulations to you and you're partner.

love from yogi bear xx

[smudge]

Well, firstly congrat's on the forthcoming addition to your family puma. -x-

Secondly, I can fully understand your partner's feelings about wanting to be alone with you immediately after the birth & for you both to bond with your new baby when he/she arrives.

However, I can also understand why your Mum would like to be with you the day after the birth, not only to give your new bundle of joy lots of cuddles, but to help you.

If it were me, I would either phone your Mum. or write to her saying that you've had a little time to think since your last conversation & it's been decided that you'd rather be alone together 'as a little family' for the first few days/week & hope that she understands.

I'm sure she will understand the reasons why puma - I would if it were my daughters.

[redcrx]

if you cant be honest with her then youll have to fib about your dates.

Either that or hope that baby arrives early.

Id say that youd rather she arrived after babys arrival, so that she can spend the whole 2 weeks with her her new grandchaild.

[smudge]

Oh & tell her she's the 'bestist' Mum in the whole world too! Take care. -xx-

[TTG]

Say can she come over in the new year. Explain that you are not having any visitors until then so she does not feel left out. Say you want to get baby into a settled routine. She already said "Wherever I am going to stay" so is not expecting you to put her up. I am sure she will understand you will already have a lot on with it being Xmas and also having a new baby.

[puma86]

thank you everyone :o)

i knew i would get some good ideas from you. Ok, i'm going to email her now.
fingers crossed ay lol
x

[smudge]

You're welcome puma - I'm sure you'll feel quite relieved once you've written to Mum. -x-