I loved you with a fire red- Now it's turning blue

[Sayvme]

Hey I'm 17, I met my gf when I was 14. We've gone through a lot, abortion, being disowned by our families. I broke up with her recently for the fourth time in 3 years, because I am going to be moving away for further education soon and I want to focus on the work part of my life. However after the break up, her and I just couldnt seem to cope alone and were on the phone constantly. We got back together a week later, I was depressed and she was drowning in drugs. Its been little over a month now and I would say we are alright now but we aren't. last night I cheated on her when I was at a friends get together, before I got into bed with this other woman, I cried at my refection in the bathroom mirror. I cried because before I looked up at myself, I questioned, is this how empty I've become? My heart has been worn and torn more than I can handle. I have become hollow and cold because I am not ready for anything. The hurt is killing me. I have to tell my partner because I have to be honest with myself and I won't disrespect her trust anymore. Its her birthday this weekend coming, and that makes things heavier than they otherwise would be. I am not writing this to be told that what I did was wrong... I know how wonderfully fluffed up I am. I am writing it because I can't let it tear me apart.

Please any comments or anything would be much appreciated.

[sara3]

what a wasted talent.

[Bbbananas]

You are 17..............
If your heart is "worn & torn" more than you can handle at 17, you're going to have a bit more wear & tear as life goes on mate. You both need to move on.

[marval]

Move away and do your further education. You need to distance yourself from this girl, if she is drowning in drugs I suspect you are her prop, and she feels she can't cope without you. You are still very young and need to concentrate on the important things in life, your education and getting a good job. The fact that you cheated on her just shows that you are not totally commited to the relationship. Take a step away from her and get your life back on track.

[Whoever]

You and your girlfriend have packed a lot of concentrated and heavy emotion into the time you have been together and I think the reality of it that you have been trying to handle all this when you are still effectively, a child. You have not had the opportunity to go gently into a relationship and learn how to be friends first and wait a while. Instead rushing into a sexual relationship, which has included an abortion, has forced you into dealing with emotions you are not yet mature enough to deal with. Even an adult would have found this difficult. You need time and space on your own to discover what you want to do with your life. I think you need to have a pleasant birthday week-end together but agree that you've both projected yourself too young and too heavily into a relationship which wasn't ready for the adult things it had to face. Talk together about some objectives you can both set for yourselves which will allow you to stay friends yet grow emotionally as you both need to do while you are apart. Take this learning experience into your new studying environment. Make lots of friends and learn how to handle other relationships but don't commit too deeply to anybody of the opposite sex. After a period in the emotional hothouse, you now need to develop yourself in a more temperate climate.

[Lil O'lady]

Done too much, much too young.....
Move on, keep it simple and focused, try lightheartedness and celibacy for a while. You're going to completely do your head in otherwise. Find your true inner self and be true to it.