For goodness sake, what's the big deal?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.guardian.c...-brown-answer-curious

People are forever curios, what is wrong in asking someone "where do you come from".?

Colour of one's skin, strange attitude, unusual accent, anything else that sets one apart, people will often say "now that's an unusual accent", what part of the country do you come from? etc, etc.

Do you think this person is being over sensitive?.

[sp1814]

anotheoldgit

If she were asked "Where abouts are you from?"

Her immediate reaction might be London. I'm black, and that would be the first thing I would say. I wouldn't say "Jamaica". That's where my parents are from.

I think you need to think in her shoes for a minute. If she's British born and bred and someone asks her where she's from, her natural reaction would be Britain.

If someone asked her, "Where do your family originate from", then the answer would be different.

I don't understand where you're coming from on this.

[jno]

"I don't understand where you're coming from"

nicely put, sp1814

[Oneeyedvic]

I am often asked this question, and I must say it irritates me.
The most memorable time was last year in the park when walking the dog:

Stranger that I was on nodding terms with as she had a dog: Cold today isn't it - bet your not used to the temperature where you are from.
Me: Well, I live in the house over there, so yes, I am quite used to it.
Stranger: No, before you came here
Me: Well, Northampton got pretty cold.
Stranger: Well, I mean where you were born.
Me: St Albans has a pretty similar climate, despite it being in Hertfordshire. Maybe not quite such cold winds as the ones here on the east coast.
Stranger: Well, where you parents were from then.
Me: Ah, Staines in Middlesex. Don't really know that area as I have never been there. Is it much hotter there?
Stranger: Well where were your grandparents from?
Me: They came from Sri Lanka.
Stranger: Bet it's hot there.
I agreed with her.

Why I get irritated is because I am not seen as British but as a foreigner due to the colour of my skin.

Incidentally, I don't see it as racist, just ignorant.

[LoftyLottie]

And OEV, was she an elderly lady? My grandparents would act like this lady, and to a degree my parents. They weren't racist in any way, but their generation acted like this and they certainly weren't rude people - just from a different generation. My parents would be in their 90's now. Perhaps the same generation as aog? ;o)

[jno]

I'm not sure whether it's racist or not, Vic. It seems to derive from the assumption that if you look different, you - you personally, regardless of your ancestors - must be an alien. It's not racist in the sense that they mean you any harm, but they do seem to be judging you by skin colour alone. The fact that Britain has been interacting with other nations for centuries, importing and exporting people throughout the empire and the rest of the world, doesn't seem to occur to everyone.

[ummmm]

Oneeye..are you actually in Northampton or the Shire? Just being nosey...I live in Northampton.

[Oneeyedvic]

ummmm - used to live in Kingsthorpe, Northampton and previous to that in Town Centre (St Edmunds Road). My wife was born and lived their all her life, where as I moved around a lot.

Still go back to Northampton to visit the step kids and friends.

Lofty - she was (guessing) in her 50's / 60's so depending on your view, she may have been old :)

jno - I agree that there was nothing malicious in it - I am sure she thought she was being polite.

[LoftyLottie]

Whoops - about my age then!! Oh dear.................

[Oneeyedvic]

AOG - part of the 'Ancient Charge' in Freemasonry states "Ever remembering that nature has implanted in your breast a sacred and indissoluble attachment toward that country where you derived your birth and infant nurture."

This is something that is very true to me - I consider myself to be English born and bred. I support England (or Britain where appropriate) in every sporting event. I have never supported Sri Lanka and have no love of that country in the same way that I have no love for Germany, China or the United States.

Asking someone 'where do you _really_ come from' is therefore quite insulting.

[ummmm]

St Edmunds road. The carpark to our pub backed onto it, opposite the Allied Irish. My Grandad now lives in Denmark road. Small old world....I live by Abbey Park.

Sorry AOG...

[jake-the-peg]

it is small Ummmm I live just outside Buckingham now, my kids went to school in Towcester

They can take my country from me but no one can change that fact!

[tamborine]

I ask same Qs of different featured ppl; am curious of their backgrounds - it's called making friends & exploring their cultures, nothing to do with racialism.

Lots of Brits born here practise the culture of their foreign ancestral homes.

[Oneeyedvic]

ummmm - really small world - I used to work at Catering Equipment Company (underneath Woodlows Furniture next door to your pub!). I lived at the house adjacent to Woodlows entrance. My wife's mother used to live at Palmerston Road (before she died) and her uncle still lives in Ethel Street.

[ummmm]

My sister lives in Ethel Street.

Woodlows has closed down now....Shame. Do you remember The Volunteer pub?

[ummmm]

Just read your answer again...of course you do. The catering shop has also gone now. I use to like that shop.

[anotheoldgit]

Oneeyedvic

I have just read your post about your encounter with the lady and her dog in the park.

Wow! no wonder that some take the attitude "bl**dy, ignorant foreigner, that's the last time I take the trouble to have a polite conversation with him".

You should be fostering good relations, not trying to destroy them.

But I am pleased that you don't class it as racist, just ignorant, but as I have already said, "to that lady you might have also been seen as ignorant".

[Oneeyedvic]

Yes, AOG, she may well have thought 'bloody ignorant foreigner' - despite the fact that I repeated that I am English.

Shame that she (and by the sounds of it you), don't seem to acknowledge that.

[flip_flop]

I'd ask her where she was from............so that I could stalk her.

She looks absolutelygobsmackinglybreathtakingingly Gorgeous.

[anotheoldgit]

No Vic, read through your post again, can't you see?

From the offset she must have thought you were being sarcastic, or at the very worse taking the pi$$ out of her.

[jno]

then she was wrong, wasn't she? How is Vic giving honest and correct answers destroying good relations? The real problem is that she didn't believe him. That annoys Vic. It annoys the woman who wrote the original article. And you yourself got annoyed even though everyone DID believe you, just because they had the cheek to ask in the first place. Why do you suppose it's okay to ask Vic where he comes from but an outrage to ask you the same question?