Special Needs Children & Father trying for access

[looby1914]

Brief details was with my ex for 10years on and off. The relationship was very violent and he was charged twice with assaulting me. Anyways we have been in and out of court since 2007 in regards to access.

Last court was february in which because my GP records hadnt turned up in time he decided to state that i was Manic depressive with suicidal tendencies. This making court readjourned again to june for a 2 day session to see who is lieing etc. The outcome of which will then be used in the case for access.

Since february my son has been diagnosed with Autism and needs alot of 1-1 support from myself and his pre-school teachers etc. He is still in nappies (turns 4 in june).. now receives high rate care component dla and is awaiting a major elite buggy as he cant walk due to no danger awareness etc. My son is a very complexed child.

Now due to me trying to deny access we are aiming for restbite for my son away from his father whom he hasnt seen since september 2009. Were as the father wants a full day at the weekend. Or supervised access in contact centre.

Can the fact of my son being autistic be looked at more for the best interests of him. Eg he hasnt seen or spoke to his father since september last year.. we have in fact walked past him and my son never mentioned him.. So obviously starting to see him now is going to greatly distress my son plus up turn all his routines that we have to stick too. My son also suffered with severe nightmares from the effects of what his dad did to me in front of him.

Can anybody help ? Im arranging a meeting with the solicitor beginning of next week but wondered if anybody had any information on how courts deal with special needs children in regards to access etc before hand.

Thanks Looby x

P.S Yes he is on the birth certificate.. I have Residency, Non-Molestation Order and Prohibited Steps Order too

[ojread2]

I have no idea looby about SENco children and how the courts treat them.#
TBH the fact you have residency etc makes no difference in your case. Normally it would, for me, just be a simple case of the child has rights too, and even SENco children however, in the case of what sounds to be severe autism, this is completely different. For the most part, autistic children need continuation and familiar faces in their lives.
I feel your solicitor needs to engage the help of an expert in autism (who ever statemented your son would be good)
If the facts are as you have set them out, I feel the father needs very slow reintroduction into his sons life and regular contact that is never broken

I wish you good luck

[looby1914]

thanks oj will see what solicitor suggests im just highly concerned with him having access to his father due to the past violence plus i forgot to mention he has threatebed numerous times to snatch him,

[Nosha123]

I am no legal expert - but dont know that you can stop him seeing his son based purely on the childs autism.. HOWEVER - if he has made threats to kidnap him - then I think you can prevent him from having access thats unsupervised...
Someone here will be able to help better!
Good luck

[tamborine]

has he harmed his son; if not, he will get some access thru Court.

Children need fathers. Try & see a positive between father & son; it could change the whole scenario for the better. You don't have to be involved apart from allowing the collection.

[looby1914]

The reason i dont want him having access is die to the violence and threats.. he attacked me with my son in his arms and whilst my son in his arms. Plus the threats to remove. I was just wondering how the autism can effect outcomes due to him not being able to be left with strangers etc and yes his father is now a stranger. So its a no win battle

[ojread2]

It's not as cut and dried as that Nosha and Tamborine - the child has severe difficulties that you can only imagine and the inconsistent behaviour of his father will only serve to disturb the child further. Coupled together with the violence and threatened kidnap, this has huge potential to be a very unhealthy relationship for the child
It is not always black and white

[cazzz1975]

to put it plainly your childs needs are what must come first, respite is quite hard to come by so you cannot rely on it as a regular thing. if he does have to see his father it would be better in a supervised setting considering his fathers history of violence and threats.

[cazzz1975]

you need to round up professionals who know your son who can vouch for his condition and how the behaviour of your ex has affected him. Autistic children can be extremely sensitive to atmosphere. You need to emphasise to the court the importance of a calm and safe environment.

good luck with the major buggy, I have one too, they are excellent!

[looby1914]

thanks guys... im just worried that they will treat this case as every "ordinary" child and as a special needs one. I hate using his autism in things BUT in this case he needs is routine sticking too amongst other things. Plus the safety aspect too im just petrified what could happen if he does get access.

[cazzz1975]

its not a case of using his autism, you have to emphasise that his needs are greater than an ordinary child, they need to understand how his autism affects his everyday life and why its important that his needs are considered above all else.