ChatterBank2 mins ago
What's the best way to protect women against the violent urges of some men?
I read recently that one of the few areas where crime figures are on the rise is in the area of domestic violence.
Serious question - has any of the male AB'ers ever raised their fists to a woman, and if so, why?
Is this an unspoken epidemic?
Do any of the female AB'ers know of situations of domestic violence, and how did they or their loved ones deal with it?
Serious question - has any of the male AB'ers ever raised their fists to a woman, and if so, why?
Is this an unspoken epidemic?
Do any of the female AB'ers know of situations of domestic violence, and how did they or their loved ones deal with it?
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SP, did your article state that it was Male-on-Female violence?
If domestic violence is on the increase then, IMHO, the likliest cause is probably going to be female-on-male. It's socially acceptable for a woman to slap, hit or throw things at her fella, although if a bloke does the same it's (rightly) wrong.
Can anybody explain why this is?
If domestic violence is on the increase then, IMHO, the likliest cause is probably going to be female-on-male. It's socially acceptable for a woman to slap, hit or throw things at her fella, although if a bloke does the same it's (rightly) wrong.
Can anybody explain why this is?
To answer the second part I have had direct experience of it, and it took a very long time to deal with it. Aspects of that time in my life still affect me and my relationships now. My family were not at all helpful so I can't comment it from their perspective.
Friends, one in particular, were by biggest help in getting back control of my life, and I love them dearly for supporting me.
Friends, one in particular, were by biggest help in getting back control of my life, and I love them dearly for supporting me.
I have been married over 20 years and I have never raised my hand and never had it raised back (this does happen)
If I had I would of expected my wife to leave. If you feel you have to hit someone you should leave the relationship.
However my brother & sister in law who have been married 4 months less than me had a very tempestuous relationship in thier first few years are still very happily married noe without the physical rows but they did give as good as each other.
If I had I would of expected my wife to leave. If you feel you have to hit someone you should leave the relationship.
However my brother & sister in law who have been married 4 months less than me had a very tempestuous relationship in thier first few years are still very happily married noe without the physical rows but they did give as good as each other.
I have been a victim of domestic violence from my 2nd husband. I don't want to go into the ins & outs of it all now, but it was isolated incidents over a period of a few years and the main culprit was alcohol, mid-life crisis, financial & health problems (phew...)
It only ended when I finally rang the police & took him to Court. These things have to be nipped in the bud and should never be something to be brushed under the carpet.
It only ended when I finally rang the police & took him to Court. These things have to be nipped in the bud and should never be something to be brushed under the carpet.
My mother got rid of her then fella but it took her a few years.
Interesting fact for you. There's a thing called safeguarding for children and adults within the NHS (used to be child protection really). An adult woman presenting to A&E as a victim of domestic violence is not classed as a vulnerable adult and it is up to her to report the crime to the police/social services etc... a vulnerable adult is someone with mental health issues or disability. However, if a child is with the woman when she presents to the hospital, we have to let social services know as they would be classed as a child in need and would require a degree of support living in this situation (also because they are made more vulnerable by their circumstance).
It's a goverment thing so there's nowt we can do but I would say personally that a woman living in this situation (as in, this is definitely not the first time and chappie is not being put out on his ear) should be classed as a vulnerable adult as their mental health is impaired or else they would not feel so powerless to stop the situation. But that's just how I see it.
Domestic violence against males is on the increase as well.
Interesting fact for you. There's a thing called safeguarding for children and adults within the NHS (used to be child protection really). An adult woman presenting to A&E as a victim of domestic violence is not classed as a vulnerable adult and it is up to her to report the crime to the police/social services etc... a vulnerable adult is someone with mental health issues or disability. However, if a child is with the woman when she presents to the hospital, we have to let social services know as they would be classed as a child in need and would require a degree of support living in this situation (also because they are made more vulnerable by their circumstance).
It's a goverment thing so there's nowt we can do but I would say personally that a woman living in this situation (as in, this is definitely not the first time and chappie is not being put out on his ear) should be classed as a vulnerable adult as their mental health is impaired or else they would not feel so powerless to stop the situation. But that's just how I see it.
Domestic violence against males is on the increase as well.
youngmafbog
I don't know what the incidents of female against mail violence, but I have a feeling it's probably as widespread as females sexually assaulting men. Yes it exists, but no where near in the same proprtions as men who beat, rape, scald, threaten and eventually kill women.
There are very few female Raoul Moats...but there are LOTS of male ones.
I don't know what the incidents of female against mail violence, but I have a feeling it's probably as widespread as females sexually assaulting men. Yes it exists, but no where near in the same proprtions as men who beat, rape, scald, threaten and eventually kill women.
There are very few female Raoul Moats...but there are LOTS of male ones.
SP, you can only go on reported incidents.
Whilst I suspect you are probably correct in that most Perpetrator's are men you are ignoring the fact many men will not admit it due to bravado or whatever.
Indeed in my case I have never raised anything, I even refused the Old Bills invitation to prosecute my wife.
Whilst I suspect you are probably correct in that most Perpetrator's are men you are ignoring the fact many men will not admit it due to bravado or whatever.
Indeed in my case I have never raised anything, I even refused the Old Bills invitation to prosecute my wife.
I don't want to sound as if I'm trivialising domestic violence against men...and indeed, the stats back up what you say - 23% of all reported cases in '09 were against men...
However, over the reported period in the official statistic, "the proportions of male victims, based on the estimated numbers of incidents, has varied between 15% and 34%, with a mean of about 24%. Since male victims tend to suffer fewer repeat incidents against them than female victims, the proportions of actual male victims are higher than those based on the numbers of incidents shown on these figures"
Basically - what that's saying is that women may raise their fists to men, but they don't do it over and over again. Once a man knows he can beat up his wife/girlfriend, the stats suggest that he will do it again and again.
http://www.dewar4rese.../DVGovtStatsAug09.pdf
However, over the reported period in the official statistic, "the proportions of male victims, based on the estimated numbers of incidents, has varied between 15% and 34%, with a mean of about 24%. Since male victims tend to suffer fewer repeat incidents against them than female victims, the proportions of actual male victims are higher than those based on the numbers of incidents shown on these figures"
Basically - what that's saying is that women may raise their fists to men, but they don't do it over and over again. Once a man knows he can beat up his wife/girlfriend, the stats suggest that he will do it again and again.
http://www.dewar4rese.../DVGovtStatsAug09.pdf
***. SP i find that Fluffing offensive. You are genralising over something you have confessed to having no experience.
The reason men do not report domestic violence is because in the eyes of the media, the law and every other thing it's a Fluffing joke. Obviously a real man wouldn't get beaten up by a mere girl, let alone let it happen repeatedly!!
Let me ask you something, have you ever slapped your boyfriend? How many women on here have? Surely thats domestic violence as well? Or is it only violence if it's the bloke who commits it!!
Your stats are flawed by the very nature of the crime. How many times do you think Mr Smith wants to be laughed at by people because Mrs Smith has chucked boiling water over him, pushed him down the stairs or stabbed him in the arm with a knife??
(and before you start about Mr Smith not being real, Mr Smith is a massive skinheaded rugby-player and boxer, who has never raised his hand to his wife, and wouldn't leave her for fear of losing his kids!)
I have also been the victim of F-on-M violence, and it's not Fluffing funny, when you are the one trying to hide the black eye that your 5ft 2in wife gave you!
The reason men do not report domestic violence is because in the eyes of the media, the law and every other thing it's a Fluffing joke. Obviously a real man wouldn't get beaten up by a mere girl, let alone let it happen repeatedly!!
Let me ask you something, have you ever slapped your boyfriend? How many women on here have? Surely thats domestic violence as well? Or is it only violence if it's the bloke who commits it!!
Your stats are flawed by the very nature of the crime. How many times do you think Mr Smith wants to be laughed at by people because Mrs Smith has chucked boiling water over him, pushed him down the stairs or stabbed him in the arm with a knife??
(and before you start about Mr Smith not being real, Mr Smith is a massive skinheaded rugby-player and boxer, who has never raised his hand to his wife, and wouldn't leave her for fear of losing his kids!)
I have also been the victim of F-on-M violence, and it's not Fluffing funny, when you are the one trying to hide the black eye that your 5ft 2in wife gave you!
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