Why and How to react towards finding out that your x has a new girlfriend and if to accept her into the children's lifes.

[courage11032]

My partner walked out on me and told me that it was my fault. I was too controlling and jealous and to sort it out and the relationship will be back together, He denied that anyone else was involved and returned when and if suited him to load alot of abuse on me in front of my children. 3months later my mother died. My X did not have the children when she was ill so i could spend time with her and their was no remorse for his actions too. On the children's birthday we decided to take them to the park and bumped into his new girlfriend whom was parked up waiting for him to turn up only with my two children and not me. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, he been lying to me for so long. All i ever wanted was the truth.

[DixieCRL]

Not sure what the question is here.

[andy hughes]

You are obviously very hurt at your ex's betrayal, coming at a time when you are at an emotionally low ebb. You need to focus on yourself, and your children, and try not to let your ex's new relationship affect you too much. You will natrually feel insecure, and wonder about your children's attitude to his new partner, but don;t be concerned, a mother's bond with her children is stronger than any temporary connection they may, or indeed may not, make with your ex's new partner. Reassure them of your love, and hold onto your bond with them, it will help you through this difficult time.

[Bohne]

You got it now! So I guess it's time for you to accept it (you probably 'knew' all along anyway, women usually do) and go on with your life. Do not ever believe that the break up was solely your fault, it never is! It always takes two to tango. Put this behind you. Concentrate on your and your children'S lives. Don'T try and take it out on the other woman either, though. Until you know the whole story, you don't know how many lies she has been told. I wish you all the best for the future. Believe me, you don't need him!

[Hellion]

Good advice here. Write this on a piece of paper and stick it on the wall where you can see it before you go to bed and when you wake up 'This too, shall pass'. It's a simple way of saying that however painful everything is at the moment you can only move forward from here and one day this miserable time will be behind you. Good Luck with your Life!

[nrmatth]

might as well get along with everyone since you both have different lives now. it may hurt now but the abuse he showed in front of your children is good enough reason to be rid of him in your life. but since your stuck with him and his new partner, just realize that the stress and anxiety you feel towards them is felt by your children, so rid yourself of all the guilt, resentment, and lonelyness. move on, find a group to involve yourself with. volunteer. or start a playgroup. get your mind off of your grief and show your children your versatility and ability to adjust to lifes setbacks.