Partners!!!!!!!!

[johnlambert]

When did we all stop having wives, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends? Everyone now refers to their respective partner and I very rarely hear the term wife/husband etc

[Kathyan]

If I am asked the question 'do you have a partner?' I always reply 'no, I have a husband' ! I hate the word partner

[johnlambert]

Me too Kath
erm I mean I answer I have a wife, it would be silly if I had a husband wouldnt it?
I need a holiday

[eezablade]

I'm not married so it would be daft if I said 'my wife', would it not?

[johnlambert]

What's wrong with saying "my girlfriend" then? assuming you have one

[eezablade]

teenagers have girlfriends. It doesn't sound right for two people over 30 who live together.

[johnlambert]

Yeah but "partner" sounds like you've entered into a business deal instead of a loving relationship, you could always say what they said in the old days and refer to each other as common law husband/wife. I think that after a given period of time (im not sure how long) the law regards a couple that live together as married

[redcrx]

I agree with eezablade. I have a partner, we are both in our 30s and have a child. calling him my boyfriend just doesnt seem right somehow. He is my partner through life and we share everything. He does call me his girlfriend which does irritate me sometimes too

[daftpixie]

yup, agree with redcrx and eezablade, I think that when you reach a point in your relationship where you are committed to each other or live with each other etc, the term partner indicated the seriousness or long term nature of the relationship. Mind you, I know a 14 year old girl who calls her boyfriend her partner, and I really struggle trying not to laugh, bless her!

[johnlambert]

I must be really old fashioned then, I've never refered to any ex girlfriend/wife as "partner"

[eezablade]

I'm not referring to an ex girlfriend or wife either! I am referring to the mother of my children, she's no girl, nor is she common (joke). The term common law wife has no meaning in law. If I or she die, it will be my or her parents who get the money (unless I write a will), regardless of the fact that we have lived together for 5 years and have 2 children together.
But I am digressing

[saxy_jag]

My husband once managed to upset a rather politically correct couple over this one. He was taking part in a drumming workshop and, during the break, began to chat with this couple about various things, including me, his wife.

He was asked, "doesn't she mind you referring to her as your wife, and not your partner?"

He did explain that it was, actually, my relationship to him, and he'd no more describe me as his partner than he'd describe his brother as his sibling or his son as his offspring.

They kinda didn't make any small talk with him after that.

[$~Jeep~$]

I'm with you john and Kathyan.

Dislike the term partner, conjures up a business deal.
I have a husband. My husband has a wife, not a partner.

Always used to hear adults referring to their "boyfriend or girlfriend", that being accepted and not frowned upon because they are no longer teenagers. I never thought it sounded strange when they were referred to as such.

When did the trend to say "partner" come about?

[Pippa68]

Before I was married to Mr Pippa he never referred to me as his girlfriend or partner..it was always 'my missus'.

I always said he was my husband, even though he wasn't..simply because that's what it felt like. I don't have a problem with other people calling their significant others 'partners'. Actually, I did sometimes call him my SO!

[eezablade]

so jeep, what would you refer to your un-married female/male person if not girlfriend/boyfriend or partner?

[robbo82]

I think 'partner' may stem from the days before gay marriages were legalised, when gay couples wanted a term to describe their lifetime commitment to someone else, since they couldn't technically be their wife/husband. I guess it just spread to refer to heterosexual relationships as well.

[spudqueen]

I quite agree with you johnlambert, when someone introduces me to their partner I always feel like asking what business are you in together! My brother has a 'partner' and it really irritates me, she is his girlfriend, sorry fiancee, NOT a partner.

[fee-is-me]

I have a husband AND a partner.

They are 2 different people... lol...

I use the terms to differentiate between the 2 when talking to someone.

Works for me!

[$~Jeep~$]

eezablade, as I pointed out, boyfriend or girlfriend sounds perfectly ok with adults as it does youngsters. It never sounded odd to me when it was used for non marrieds, when referring to the person they were close to or lived with.

[willa]

I skip all the ambiguity and refer to my husband of 20 years as "devoted supplicant." :->

[noxlumos]

I referred to my wife as "my wife" even before we actually got married as a wife or husband is surely not created by a bit of paper but by the way you feel about one another and your plans for the longevity of your relationship.
I've had countless girlfriends ( never any partners, horrible term), but as soon as my wife became the one and only person in the world for me she became "my wife" even though at that point we hadn't yet married.