Wine

[wildwood]

Woman sitting at home drinking a wine on the porch with her husband and she says, "I love you.."

He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me............. talking to the wine."

[supersuezy24]

Good one :) xx

[Sir Alec]

I make my own wine. (And before you sneer, it has won prizes every year at the Penistone Show). Trouble is, it's much stronger than bought wines and you have to be careful with certain ones. Rose hip is a killer. Lettuce can make some people hallucinate due to the laudanum in the wine. I have seen a grown man crawl around my lounge floor on lettuce wine, looking for the pixies!
Great joke, though.

[mike11111]

You wouldn't happen to have a spare bottle of the lettuce juice, would you? My problem is that I keep seeing the pixies when I'm stone cold sober, so anything which can put me back in contact with reality would be most welcome.

[Sir Alec]

Unfortunately not. I havn't made it for a long time. Dandelion is pretty good though!

[mike11111]

These damn pixies have got into my computer and are playing tricks on me. I thought if I gave them a drink they might behave. Have tried Newcastle Brown Ale and Beefeater gin, but it doesn't seem to have improved their behaviour. I tried Windows help option, but they don't seem to have a page on pixies.

[jomifl]

You don't have to make lettuce wine to get the laudanum effect, there is ienough in one lettuce to have a very noticeable effect, plus it is legal and cheap. Doesn't quite have the cachet of sharing a spliff with your fellow dopeheads though.

[mike11111]

Tell me more!

[Marijn]

Brill joke :-)

[merciasounds]

My dad makes wine, one year we had a glut of parsnips so he made some wine with them. It was almost clear in colour, quite dry but it had the kick of a mule and after a few glasses it made you walk and talk funny! I remember my mother, who never drank anything other than the odd Bailey's or snowball at Christmas having drank a glass, looked at my dad owlishly, then at me and said, ' oooh, there's two of your father....that'll be handy for milking in the morning!' Then fell back on the sofa snoring. She won't touch any homemade wine now!

[Jemisa]

Thats happened to me, only I was talking to the cat at the time. (giggle) 8/10

jem

[Marijn]

merciasounds. I liked that :-)