The Explanation...

[Jemisa]

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the
husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she
explained, "It's the chemist - he insulted me terribly this morning
on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the chemist and
demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the
chemist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This
morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went
without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I
didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to
break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a
speeding ticket. Then, about three roads from the shop I had a flat
tyre.
When I finally got to the shop there was a crowd of people waiting
for me to open up. I got the shop opened and started serving these
people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then
I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to
make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my
hands and knees to pick them up,- the phone is still ringing -
when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made
me stagger back against a display-case with a load of perfume bottles on
it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still
ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was
your wife -- she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well,
Mister, I TOLD HER!"

[Bobbisox]

ha-ha Jem good one x

[mike11111]

Reminds me of one of Blanche's immortal one-liners:
Peter: That's a big thermometer!
Blanche: It's a rectal one,but don't worry, it's been through the dishwasher!