Falling in love

[Rodge2]

I read somewhere that when people fall in love to some degree they wanted to fall in love before it happened - like they were looking to fall in love - if you catch my drift. On the other hand we've all heard some people say that they had a 'lightning bolt' experience when they met their lifepartner and fell in love instantly which seems to suggest there is little choice in the matter. Which do you think it is..do you have to consent to falling in love or is it imposed upon you?

[ummmm]

Depends where you are in life.

[classylady60]

Personally I don't think there is a case of "love" as in falling in love. My opinion is that it's a chemical reaction in the brain to procreate....it's a natural thing which we humans have to put a label on which is "love". Unromantic soul that I am lol.

[woofgang]

lightening bolt for me 44 years ago, married for 37 years this year.

[Rodge2]

But then we're all quite choosy aren't we classylady? I mean if it was solely about procreation wouldn't we just grab the first man/ woman that came along?

[classylady60]

IMO Rodge I think it's a case of people have to be compatible (or think they are) so it's a little more complex than grabbing the first person to come along...there's a method to the chemical reaction to be able to make the right choice...only my opinion of course.

[BAKERS DOZEN]

He moved in to a house near us when he was 15 and I was 14. We got engaged on my 17th birthday and married when I was 18. From the night we met until we got married we were only apart 3 nights when I went into hospital for an operation on my wrist. We've been married 44 years this December. Don't know how or why but we just clicked.

[Rodge2]

So it was the lightning bolt for you BakersDozen? I don't suppose you were looking to fall in love at 14?

[welshlibranr]

Met my husband 35 years ago, after a very messy divorce, and had vowed 'never ever again' I married him 3 years later, he is my soulmate, wish I'd met him first time round, but that's the way it goes sometimes!........we've been together for all that time, and we're still very happy together today!.......

[BAKERS DOZEN]

It wasn't really a bolt. We just got on together so well and I loved his mum and dad. Little did I realise that all this time later Dad would be living with us. When you're young people in their 40's seem really old but he's in his nineties now and still going strong.

[welshlibranr]

bless him BAKERS, in his nineties, you must be taking really good care of him!.....he's so lucky!.......

[Dollie]

I am not sure that you can help falling in love. I recently met someone after I had split from my hubby and I simply adored him from the first date onwards. I fell in love with him extremely quickly, and even though we have had to split up now due to us living far apart and he wasnt really happy to move nearer to me, I remain as in love with him as always, and dont think that will go away really,. I do know that he fell in love with me quite quickly also, but in the end, there was only one of us working at it and I realised that sadly we would not end up a couple living together (unless I moved to be with him... which was not possible due to my work) That said, it was a wonderful experience and I wouldnt change it for the world. In answer to your question, I would say yes, you do have to consent to falling in love or you would simply put barriers in the way, and by the way, I wasnt looking for love at all, I met him and it simply happened.... fell head over heels, and still feel that way about him now. It is difficult and I am having to adjust to life without him which isnt easy, but I imagine that as each week passes it will become more tolerable for me. If you are falling in love Rodge I wish you well chuck.... all the best. Doll x

[tinkerbell23]

cant help falling in love. wish i could! much less heartache...cant also seem to let go very easily!!! doh! x

[coli05anna00]

it just happens when it happens. dont remember lightning bolt just realised my now husband understood me and loved me for me! hes like a pair of comfy slippers, you know the ones you dont want to be parted from. lol x

[tinkerbell23]

i really hope i find that one day! :0( xx

[coli05anna00]

you will find it tinkerbell and it usually happens when you least expect it.

[Rodge2]

Dollie, that sounds so sad. Is there no chance of a reconciliation?