An eight-year-old boy

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goes into a shop and asks for a packet of Tampax. Asistant asks him if he is sure that is what he wants.
"Yes" says the boy, "they are for my four-year-old brother".
"Really?" she asks, "do you know what Tampax are?"
"I've seen the advert" says the lad. "It says that with these you can swim and ride a bike.......my brother can't do either!!"

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My better half asked me why I kept referring to her mother as 'Tampax'. I said "She reminds me of one, they're both stuck up c***ts."