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a joke? or is it true?

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Bobbisox | 15:37 Thu 17th Nov 2011 | Jokes
101 Answers
Teaching Maths in Britain
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something... He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of unsecured debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses an
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Question Author
go to music Jan, and we will have a giggle
(hope you are ok)

rh, just reiterating your words in my music thread this after :-)
I read this article today as well, she just copied and pasted it and asked if it was a joke or true, so why all the nasty replies.
Question Author
err, because it's moi..LOL
Curvy I really don't care, for every nasty pastie, there are 10 nice un's
No actually, I'm not ok. I went to a friend's funeral yesterday, my mum is dying of breast cancer and after a few sleepless nights I decided to start trying to sort out Gary's clothes today and after just a few broke down and have been crying all afternoon. It's all getting a bit much for me at the moment and to be honest I'm feeling a bit hysterical at the moment and don't know whether to laugh or cry!
I haven't noticed any 'nasty' replies.
Question Author
Jan, love I am so sorry, this must be soo difficult for you xxx
I agree, curvy. However there are some folk around here who get a whiff of verbal blood, in they go for the kill, usually by the pack, their ultimate aim being to try and get the victim suspended.

And I thought that blood-sports had been heavily legislated against....
Question Author
in respect of Jan, who is going through Hell, I won't engage in any more banter on here
Well from what I have seen ummmm you wouldn't would you.
It's ok Bobbi, excuse my outburst, it's why I don't post on here much any more because I just don't know what to say. I just have to get on with things but some days it's just hard. Don't worry, I'll be ok. I told Gary I would be so I will, in time.
sorry to hear that Jan......as they say "tomorrow is another day" and "some days are better than others." There are quite a few good jokes on here at the moment if you go for a scroll down the topic.
I've just read the thread again and still cannot see any nasty replies. You'll have to point them out to me...
Sorry Jan1957, you are having a bad time, hope you are ok. I don't know you but I wish you and your family my very best wishes at this time.
So very sorry to hear that, Jan. It puts all the pettiness on AB in perspective. Wish there was something more that could be said to comfort you.

A cyber hugs seems so feeble, but here ya go anyway. (((HUG)))
DTcrosswordfan has put it in a nutshell ummmm.
I gave in
Thank you Curvy and sorry, just a bit over-tired I think tonight. xx
Err...
This was posted in the Jokes section.
Why are some of you taking it so bloody seriously ?
-- answer removed --
triggs, to answer your question from yesterday, seriously! He has come out with some blinders!

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