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Some old ones but some good ones

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denis567 | 21:53 Sun 22nd Jan 2012 | Jokes
7 Answers
They've opened a new shop across the road selling camouflage clothing
but I have my suspicions something weird is going on. Yesterday I saw 20
people go in but I never saw anyone coming out

I've been on the phone for ages trying to book tickets for an Elvis
tribute act, but it keeps asking me to press 1 for the money, 2 for the
show ....

I just brought a friend of mine a new fridge, should have seen his face
light up when he opened it

A friend of mine moved into a new house at the weekend so I took him
over a couple of radiators. Just a little house warming present.

I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my
house. I think he's lost his rag

I went to my allotment last week and found someone had covered it with
2 inches of soil
I went again yesterday only to find it covered again with another 2
inches of soil. The plot thickens !

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed four grave diggers walking about with a
coffin ...
3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to
myself, these guys have lost the plot

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to
our local pet shop and they were £50. Sod that, I thought, I can get one
cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

I start a new job in Seoul next week ... I thought it was a good Korea
move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself, “That guy's heading for a breakdown”.



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Very very funny!

Can you post some more like this?
20:09 Mon 23rd Jan 2012
thanks for posting those I can hardly see for laughing :)
I am thinking of joining the AAAA it's for people who have been driven to drink.
lol
Very very funny!

Can you post some more like this?
Think youv'e been reading Tim Vines joke book! They are good but they are his.
Question Author
Sorry, eastern, I have not been reading Tim Vine's joke book, I didn't even know he had one. They were sent to me in an email, so I just copied them to AB
Some of those are really good - I like "the plot thickens"!

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Some old ones but some good ones

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