Don't you just love those Irish jokes.

[wildwood]

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Jesus Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to ****Spain**** and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to ****Italy**** and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to **Majorca** and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?. Paddy replies, - I'll fukin take her with me!

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"****
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just fooking wet mine."

[MarkRae]

An English goes into a dressmaking shop and asks for six thimbles. The sales assistant asks him if he's going to be doing a lot of sewing and he replies "No, I'm having a party." Hilarious, right?

[exdc]

Well, it is one of your better one's Mark.

[Mick-Talbot]

So what can we do about all these irish people telling irish jokes ?

[thelord]

I've worked with Irish lads all my life & some of them are thick same as other people (lucky. Guys)

[Jemisa]

I've heard em before but liked them again.

jem

[whiskeryron]

The Irish are loveable God bless 'em. This is a true story.
When we had Clippies on the buses in Birmingham ( the oldies will know what I mean) my brother was waiting at a bus stop when 2 buses arrived, my bruv went to get on the 1st bus & the Irish Clippie said to him '' The bus behind is the one in front'', it's the way they tell 'em.

Ron.

[chaptazbru]

I've just had a good chuckle reading these. Very funny.

[TWR]

You do not see them calling for the discrimination law do you! people from Asia take note?

[heathfield]

I remember an article in a UK newspaper where it was pointed out that on examination there are usually certain truths to be observed in what the Irish say, however silly we might think them. Paddy's shampoo 'for dry hair', for example. Paddy was right in his way, and really the laugh should be aimed at the manufacturer who labelled the product!