A Yorkshire Drug Problem

[mrs_overall]

Police have reported that in Yorkshire, regular users of Ecstasy have started to inject themselves in the mouth with the drug.
The practice is known as "E By Gum"

[DTCwordfan]

There weren't any paedophiles when I was a lad in Barnsley, you had to buy your own sweets.

[DTCwordfan]

A Barnsley couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen.
'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.
"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'
"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'
"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.
"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"
'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'

[mrs_overall]

DT, get thissen o'er to t'Yorkshire thread in t'chatterbank

[marval]

There was a school hall full of Yorkshire women all being given an exercise lesson by Jane Fonda.

"O.K., ladies. Hands on thighs!"

As one, every woman moved her hands and a voice at the back said "What good's that, then? I can't see 'er now!"

[DTCwordfan]

wich'un?

[mrs_overall]

DT, stop posting about paedophiles in food and drink! Muppet!

[mrs_overall]

lol Marval

[DTCwordfan]

An 'Uddersfield rugby league fan is drinking in't a Wigan pub, when he gets a call on his mobile phone.

He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, 'That's about average in Yorkshire ... like I said, my boy's a typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player.'

Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the pub, Uddersfield with a League Cup match away. His host says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth?"

Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?'

The proud father answers, "Twenty pounds."

Mein Host is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Samuel Smith's, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,

"Had him circumcised..."

[mrs_overall]

rofl!

[marval]

Barnsley chat up lines.


1. duz tha fart? cos thas blown me away!

2.a thi mam n dad retards cos thas special

3.me luv for thee is like sh!ts i just cant hold it in

4.is there a mirror in thi knickers? cos i can see me sen in em

5,tha body reminds me of a spanner...everytime i think of thee me nuts tighten

6.tha might not be best lookin bird in here, but beauty is only just a leet switch away.

[marval]

All over Yorkshire, gangs of youths are wandering around aimlessly playing medieval musical instruments.

A Police spokesman said "It’s random Luteing"