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Penis Poem...

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Jemisa | 14:29 Tue 19th Jun 2012 | Jokes
25 Answers
My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find the blasted thing.

It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes.
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LOL, exellent Jem. you should have posted this on smowballs ' ever made yourself look a right Wally thread.
Ooh how I laughed!
Very funny,Jem,but I first heard it in 1955.
Question Author
Then Ivor by now you must identify with it. :)

Sorry havn't got anything hot off the press for you. Perhaps you have.

jem
I love it
In the interests of sexual equality, can someone post a vagina poem?
Question Author
I don't think there are any jom, Older women don't change much down there.
Eventually they heal up I think. (I'm not really sure) :)

jem.
Try this.

THE CREATION OF A VAGINA

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
By using red velvet, he lined it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.

Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, a dirty little runt,
He sucked it and f*cked it and called it a Lady Veg
Oh, what a challenge has been laid down....

excuse the crudeness involved:

THE Making of a Vagina

Seven wise AB men with knowledge so fine
Created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with Tony's wit,
Using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was tenrec the carpenter, strong and bold,
With a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was Ivor, a tailor, tall and thin,
By using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a Bardis hunter, short and stout,
With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a seadogg fisherman, nasty as hell,
He threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was the preacher whose name was Venator or was that McGee,
He touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came an unknown sailor, a dirty little runt,
He sucked it and ?ucked it and called it a ?unt
Lady veg = c u n t
jomifl, just for you!

There was a young lady named Alice,
Who used dynamite for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her a$$hole in Dallas.
Great minds marval..............
Yes DT, great minds
You know you are on the right site when the penis n vagina poems come out, I so need to spend tomorrow writing mine lol well done Jem n DT X
but what a challenge....and at this time of the evening when the wine is aboard!
According to old Sigmind Freud,
Life is seldom so fully enjoied,
As in human coition
In every position
With the usual organs employed.
Question Author
Marval & DT Excellant. Never heard that before.

jem
Nymphomanical Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.
A pansy who lived in Khartoum,
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
Excellent, thanx all.

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