The Answerbank Radio Show - Episode 13

[mrs_overall]

In the village of Answerbank Under the Wold (twinned with Toadsuck, Arkansas), the villagers in the Quizzes & Puzzles Arms were enjoying a quiet lunchtime drink, eagerly awaiting the afternoon grand opening of the new shop, when in burst a jubilant Vodkancoke, closely followed by her friends Marval (the safecracker) and Slinkykate (the ex nun who longed to live dangerously to make up for lost time but didn't know how).
"I got off at court, the drinks are on me!" she announced to the room.
"Bloody hell, how did you get off a charge of benefit fraud for claiming for 23 kids you don't have? asked an astounded Gness.
"It's all down to Slinky" beamed Vodka. "With her being an upstanding member of the community, she offered to take the Boy Scouts and Girl Guides on an educational visit to see how a court works. I passed them off as my kids."
"Didn't it look suspicious that they are all age ten to thirteen?" asked an open mouthed AYG?
"Nah, I said they were 3 sets of sextuplets, a set of quads and a singleton. I thought I might have trouble if that New Judge noticed that 4 of them were Asian, 3 of them were black, 5 were Chinese and the Polish one doesn't speak English but I got away with that one. The only tricky moment was when he asked me their names."
"Blimey, what did you say?" asked Gness
"I recited the names of the 1966 World Cup team for the first eleven and the rest I called Burke, Hare, Christie, Sutcliffe, Kray, Hindley,Brady, Bundy, Moat, Capone,Dillinger and Dotty."
"Dotty?" queried AYG
"That's my Mum's name. Top class shoplifter she is" said Vodka proudly.
"Time we were making a move folks" said Stokemaveric the village spiv who had been taking bets for two weeks on what the new shop was to be, and hoped to make a tidy profit.
The villagers stampeded out of the pub and headed down the high street.
No-one noticed the faint cries for help from the gents toilets.Tonyav had his hand firmly stuck inside the condom machine after it had swallowed his money and not dispensed the goods.
A substantial crowd had gathered outside the new shop where Towie and Deesa,both freshly peroxided for the occasion, were guarding the door.
"Good afternoon" screeched Towie "this is the moment you have all been waiting for."

(cue theme music as episode ends)

[sunny-dave]

Ooooh you tease :)

[stokemaveric]

heeeeeeyyyyy ive got a part at last...thank you mrso...lol....i love it.....

[mrs_overall]

I like to keep the listeners in suspence

[mrs_overall]

Damn dyslexic keyboard

*suspense*

[sunny-dave]

suspenders ?

[mrs_overall]

Dave, what is this obsession you have with cross dressing?

[Traci66]

MrsO, we need to know ......... what is it?
Brilliant again.

[mrs_overall]

Patience Traci!

[tonyav]

Hey, who's gonna free me from that bloody Johnny machine ( on the bright side though, I must be on a promise ! ).

[Traci66]

No Tony, you are decorating the village hall and you ran out of balloons.

[tonyav]

Oi, Traci I'm a plumber not a painter and decorator.

[Traci66]

Maybe a jack of all trades.

[sunny-dave]

"Jock of all Trades" in that kilt-thong ...

[tonyav]

But that would probably mean even more trips up the A & E ( or is that what you want lol ).

[tonyav]

Oi dave, cheeky git !.

[mccfluff]

arghhhhhh

[TOWIE]

Once again, Mrs. O. you have made me laugh out loud, especially the bit about the Scouts being taken to the Court on an educational visit - pure comedy - you are one very talented lady..........

Poor Tony - nothing worse than being swallowed with no result {;o(

[tonyav]

Hey Essex, your a naughty girl ! lol.

[TOWIE]

{;o))

[Psybbo]

Teehee, once again brilliant mrs_o (poor, poor tony)