The Murder of Cornish Pasties

[DTCwordfan]

Sloopy challenged me to a haiku-style ode over my views of a certain brand of so-called Cornish Pasty, a subject on which I have expounded strong opinions several times, the Cornish pastie now under "Protected Geographical Indication" status from the EEC, like Stilton, Champagne, Melton Mowbray pies etc.

This is the last of these challenges - I have one more here for her that will be more personal for when she is back on.....

Her challenge to me: http://www.theanswerb.../Question1166311.html

So here we are:


Beef they call it;
more like lousy end-cuts, I would say.
No wonder there are complaints.

Potatoes over-boiled,
some awful gravy.
Peas in their pasties – no that’s not a joke.

Pastry not even properly crimped,
in the sticky dough, a Cornish pasty they call that
What’s a "cock"; what’s a "hen"?

Not even made in Helston, St Ives or Padstow.
Ten regional bakeries they have.
Cornwall now covers the UK?

A Cornish pasty is so
Cornish through and through.
Not Devon, Dorset, or Cumbria, but from good ol' Kernow.

Chuck steak not mince,
cubed swede, onions and local early “tiddies”.
Ingredients loving handled, not whacked.

Made in Cornwall
of fair Cornish hand.
European protected; our pasty independence assured.

Two fifty to three pounds for a Cornish pasty
A full meal in one should be at once.
Extra pounds of weight from those that dare to impersonate

The real Cornish pasty is for me,
Not some impersonation, along with a pint of Rattler.
None of these “Up Country” assassinations.

[kat2206]

Sorry.... But Mmmmmm. Melton Mowbray Pies :)

The chap who owns this is my partners cousin so lots of yummy pies in our household.

[DTCwordfan]

I enjoy a good MM pie, kat.....which Company then.

Guess you can work out which major brand I am having a dig at....

[albaqwerty]

apart from me moving in with Kat,
DT you forgot about the fruit at t'other of of the pasty.

[DTCwordfan]

I had thought about including that, alba, as it is the traditional way to make a Cornish pasty, so that the tin, copper or lead miner would have a warm meal, the pasty being wrapped in cloths and tarp to keep the heat in.

You don't see them today though - so I thought I would take the impersonators on head to head.....

The nearest pie that does a two compartment mix is a Bedford pie - forget what they call it up there - ah just found it a "Bedfordshire Clanger".

[albaqwerty]

I was taught that the pastry was to prevent the contents from being mutilated by the blackened hard-working hands.
Also, I can hazard a darned good guess at which chain you are getting at.
Vile and full of hard turnip and squashy spuds.

A friend of mine, her father was a small holder, used to pour his dessert into/onto his dinner. His reasoning, it's all going in the same direction anyway.

[DTCwordfan]

My great-uncle down here used to do that with his breakfast, he cooked it all together in this vast, black greasy skillet (at least to a five/six year old it was vast), the porridge mingling with his eggs and the lard cooking his bacon etc....."All ends up in t'same place."

[humbersloop]

at least the challenge was authentic though (dt)
proper 5/7/5

bravo bard-o!

[commoner]

Real Cornish pasties are excellent but they aren't the only pasties on earth folks.the Welsh oggie for one is similar and in my experience of all things pasty and pie ...which is vast...is well worthy of the name pasty....I just love anything with pastry round it and wouldn't condemn a pasty just cos it doesn't come from Cornwall...even one with peas in it ;-)

I'm as Yorkshire as they come and have enjoyed Yorkshire pudding around the world...some even better than I make and I do make a mean Yorkshire........Heh heh!

My local butcher makes a pork pie to die for...but just cos it isn't MM....well you should get one of his with mushy peas and a pint of John Smith's Best..mm...heaven!

[kat2206]

Sorry DT, my OH cousin is Mr Pork Pie, himself...

[Psybbo]

That is great DT
You lot set me off yesterday but the cornish pasty I bought was not a Cornish Pasty

[DTCwordfan]

Not denying, commoner, that there aren't other pasties as in Devon or Dorset (the latter square and with mince.....so questionable that it's even a pastie).

However a Cornish one is Cornish.

You are on now, sloopy?

[humbersloop]

Just

[DTCwordfan]

watch for Arts in a couple of minutes.

[ELVIS68]

Well done DT, you er...definately murdered that

[commoner]

Just a question DT.....was the thick plait of pastry just for holding or was it part of the meal.....I was in Rinsey last mont and enjoyed Cornish on three occeasions but left the edge bit.....on one example it was really huge !

[DTCwordfan]

Holding it I think, commoner - we have an outfit in Bodmin that make tasty ones and their crimped edges are thick, in part as well to keep the cooking juices in....their edges are really thick and doughy that I can't eat them - the dog is overweight!

[commoner]

lol well thank goodness I didn't spoil my manners by leaving that bit....my blue gets nowhere near pastry...bad for the doggy figure as you know :-)

[DTCwordfan]

Nice pub nearby in the Victoria at Perranuthnoe, commoner

[lady-janine]

i'll second that DT. food is okay as well.

[parkie]

All this talk of food is making me hungry. Anyone for a bowl of cornflakes?