Short and Sweet

[marval]

A six-year-old boy called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

"But, Mum," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."


A man was processing his first accident report at the transport company where he worked, he was being particularly attentive.

The driver had hit a deer on the road, and the result was a severely damaged bonnet and bumper.

His serious mood was broken, however, when he reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"

The driver had put, "Full gallop."


While a couple were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, figure hugging dress strolled by.

The man’s eyes followed her.

Without looking up from the item she was examining, his wife asked.

"Was it worth the trouble you're in?"


Five mornings a week, a man goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book.

Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run circles around everyone, took few breaks, and rarely even broke a sweat.

"It's not fair," he complained. "By the time I'm dragging myself off to the showers, she's hopping back onto the stepper for another session."

One day he went home with a sheepish grin. "Well," he said, "I just found out how she does it -- identical twins."


In dire need of a new hairdo, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model.

I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair.
As he got to work on my thin, greying hair he began humming a catchy tune.

I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognised the melody.

It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible."