G R O A N

[marval]

Old Chief Gnarled Oak, was turned into a millionaire by the discovery of oil on his reservation.

He fell into the rich lifestyle, and he was particularly proud and pleased when his two boys were accepted into the swanky yacht club.

For years, it seemed, his one consuming ambition was to see his red sons in the sail set.


A famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington National Cemetery.

All the air lines were booked and there were no other planes available.

Someone came up with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at 5:00am

The newspapers reported the incident with the headlines, "The Whirly Bird Gets The Urn"


A confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind.

Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long.

This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation
and left him for good.

Moral of the story “You can't have your Kate and Edith, too.”


A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honour two great American patriots.

On one side of the coin would be Theodore Roosevelt, on the other, Nathan
Hale.

Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied, "Now, when you have a coin toss, you can simply call "Teds or Hales!"


A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his
offer of marriage.

They received many gifts at the wedding but their favourite was a set of towels embroidered with the words "hiss and hearse."


A news item this morning was about a local coal miner.

It seems that his vocation was painting, but since he couldn't afford to buy
canvasses he simply painted on the wall of his small cottage.

Unfortunately, a gang of youths broke into his cottage earlier this week and defaced his paintings.

Yesterday the young miscreants were charged in court with having “corrupted the murals of a miner."

[starone]

Tee-hee some more funny ones marval. Wonder who this answer removed person is. He or she seem to be all over the place. Ed and his helpers must be very vigilant.

[JonnyBoy12]

Laughed out loud at all these. Very very funny. Have you any more like these?