The Baker...

[Jemisa]

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a slice of bread.
Doctor: You’ve got to stop loafing around.

....................................................................

Sixteen years ago, a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his bakery and confronted the baker with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it.
Finally he offered to provide her with free baked goods (bread) until the boy was 16. She agreed.He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the bread each week, came into the shop and said,
“I’ll be 16 tomorrow.” “I know,” said the baker with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this loaf of bread home, that it is the last loaf of bread she’ll get from me, and watch the expression on her face.
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the baker and tell him I have also had free meat, free milk, and free dental care for the last 16 years
and watch the expression on HIS face!”

[excelsior-1]

still firing on all cylinders Jem

[Wharton]

^ditto :-)

[Buenchico]

The first one seems to have come out of a Christmas cracker, Jemisa, but I like the second one!

I knew a baker who used to make doughnuts - but he got tired of the hole thing.

PS:
Have you entered BGT yet?
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1202053.html

[Clanad]

If Chris objected to the first installment, he'll most assuredly groan now:

A good baker will rise to the occasion, it's the yeast he can do.

... and not to be out done... When asked about rumors that he owned a bakery, Shakespeare replied, 'It's much a-dough about muffin.'

[Buenchico]

Not bad at all, Clanad!

[jno]

"With this regard their currants turn to rye", as Hamlet pointed out.