Three For The Price Of One

[marval]

"How does Susan like being pregnant?" Martin asked his friend John.

"Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting."

"What's the difference?" Martin asked.

"Well," John explained.

"She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, and she’s expecting me to rub her feet."


A group of loud and rowdy drunks were making a racket in the street.

It was the wee small hours of the morning and the lady of a house flung open a window and shouted at them to keep quiet.

"Is this where Paddy lives?" one of the drunks asked.

"Yes, it is," the woman replied.

"Well then," said the drunk, "Could you come and pick him out so the rest of us can go home?"


A traffic Policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the speed limit.
He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in England."

As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said.

"Well, OK, but don't let me catch you speeding again."

[jim360]

That last one... haha!!! I'm going to change my name now.