Irishisms

[marval]

'How do you gauge the time when you're cooking the dinner? Do you use an electronic device or what?' asked the consumer researcher.

'Not at all,' explained Kitty Carey. 'It's simpler than that. In the oven I put a big piece of meat and a little one. When the little ones burned the big one's ready!'


The two O’Brien’s stood on the Mall in London, among thousands of flag-waving people.

Not being sure what was going on, they asked a bystander. 'Is there something special happening?'

'Indeed,' remarked the man.

'It's a royal wedding.'

Just then there was a fanfare of trumpets from the gates of Buckingham Palace. 'What's that?' said Pat O'Brien.

'That's Her Majesty the Queen,' said the bystander.


'Goodness me,' said Pat. 'She can play that trumpet!'


'How are you, Rosie?' asked Betty McCann.

'Sure I'm in a terrible state, Betty,' was the reply.

'I'm in such pain I can't lift me arms above me head, and it's the same with me legs!'


The Olympic skater raced on to the ice and slipped over on his face. He recovered and then fell again, and again, and again.

Up went the marks of the judges.
Great Britain 0.0
Germany 0.0
France 0.0
Ireland 3.4

'Why the score of 3.4?' asked the other officials.

'Well,' said Judge Murphy, 'You've got to make allowances. I mean it was terrible slippy out there!'

[frugalfred]

Ooh! Beware the wrath of svejk! Suggest you take out life insurance immediately! Save yourself by saying that all persons referred to above came from Co. Kerry!
Good jokes, though!

[gness]

Kerry! I think you mean Cork, Fred! :-(

[tonyav]

no he didn't lol.

[gness]

Oh...he'd better have done, Tony!

[seadogg]

Like the last one!

[tonyav]

Thats what I thought, gness !.

[marval]

I am now in disguise, dressed as a Leprechaun

[gness]

Awww...don't hide from me Marvel.....I like the jokes....but Fred had better beware...A riled Kerrywoman is not to be messed with! ;-)

[Svejk]

Be honest, Gness, kerrymen are the butt of jokes in Ireland,Fact.
I have no wrath, ff. Must be a misunderstanding.;)

[gness]

Marval..i see...not Marel...apologies.

Only from Cork men, Sweaty and because we're big enough to take it. x

[marval]

That's ok.no need to apologise