Sex On A First Date?

[Scarlett]

Is it an old fashioned view that it's not a good idea to have sex on a first date? What is your view on this. I wonder whether girls who do this either are desperate to secure a man/husband and think that's the way to do it, or they have low self esteem and having sex makes them feel special and wanted. If they just do it because they like sex, does this spoil the chances of the relationship being anything other than just sex? In days of old, you were supposed to wait until you were married (according to the church and therefore society) so that men would commit and take sex seriously. I wonder how much has really changed these days? Do you have any first hand experience of this?

[Zacs-Master]

In my experience, alcohol is usually a factor. A big one.

[pixie373]

I don't, as i really need to know someone first, however, each to their own. Women aren't always wanting a relationship either, probably less so now than in the past, with the Pill, financial independence, etc.
Also, does "first date" mean officially going out (you might have known him for years beforehand) or meeting someone that day?

[flump1]

I wonder how many regrets there might be following sex on a first date ? No I don't have any expience of this, however some of the younger generation seem to think it is the norm.

[Scarlett]

The date would be someone you have only just met.

[Old_Geezer]

They may just have a high sex drive that they feed, or it may be low self esteem, each person is an individual with their own drives. I think the pill liberated women from feeling the had to abstain. No I have no first hand experience of it though. I was never a very social individual so opportunity was less and relationships developed more slowly. To be honest if someone I liked was eager to have sex on the first date I'd assume she was like that with everyone and it would be off-putting. That I was convenient rather than special to her. Unless a single wild encounter was what I was looking for at the time.

[Kramer21]

If a man can bed a woman without any effort whatsoever then what kind of respect will he have knowing that any man she met that night would be in bed with her as he is now? Also you'd think she's pretty loose and must have done this thousands of times. Yes the men would be happy at having got his end away but he'd be a fool if he thought she was marriage material as men enjoy the thrill of the hunt and the sense of achievement at the end which you wouldn't get with a woman who gave it up on the first night

[Butterbun]

Get to know the person first and if the relationship develops, well....
some girls don't seem to care these days.

[Prudie]

No I wouldn't and haven't but it is old fashioned to think that girls who do are desperate or have low self esteem whereas it's perfectly acceptable for men to do so.

[shoota]

I think it is an old fashioned view but still a valid one.
However I also think that girls who do are perfectly entitled to and should not be stigmatised.
Basically I think that if it feels right go for it, if it isn't right then wait - whatever suits you/the person concerned.

[cupid04]

je t'aime ^

[pixie373]

I think it is very old-fashioned to assume women want different things for men. But it works both ways. I've turned men down due to the number of women they reckon they've slept with and if one was happy to jump straight into bed not knowing me, i would be put off them.

[shoota]

You an me cupes - meant to be.....

[Kramer21]

"No I wouldn't and haven't but it is old fashioned to think that girls who do are desperate or have low self esteem whereas it's perfectly acceptable for men to do so."

Prudie you can't deny facts, we are made differently. A man can go and have sex with ten women and then forget he's done it, a woman will do the same and feel dirty or may have wished for something more with one of those guys forming an attachment or emotional link. Now i know that men do to but you'll find more women than men do this
We also have the added benefit that if we got each one of those girls pregnant we can still carry on elsewhere where a woman if she gets pregnant by one of those men is "Out of commission" for 9 months unless she really is a *** and decides to carry on regardless.

[cupid04]

LOl!

[Scarlett]

Have you seen the study where an attractive girl asks 100 men on the street if they'd like to have no-strings sex right there and then? They ALL say yes (unless their girlfriend is standing with them). They repeat the study with a man and I think maybe ONE of the girls says yes, and then changes her mind. I agree, men are wired up to have lots of sex as much as possible, to spread their seed and increase the chances of healthy offspring. Women are NOT wired like this. They are more likely to want to find a partner who will be strong and reliable and look after her and the baby. This makes for very different to attitudes to sex, as a general rule, not everyone of course.

[B00]

If both parties want sex on the first date, and they use protection I see nothing wrong with this at all.

After what number of dates does society dictate that that's it's perfectly acceptable to have sex?

[DJHawkes]

crazy, it's making women out to be indecisive and it's making massive judgement. Pretty much down to the person / persons involved especially if they are old enough to know what they want. Why bring religion into it too? The church has no jurisdiction in town on a saturday night.

[jomifl]

Men always have sex on a first date, women never do, I thought everyone knew that :-)

[Jemisa]

If you do make sure you note the date and get the guy's name.....jem.

[Scarlett]

In the olden days. Not now. Back then, it was the church who set up the rules of marriage and sex- ie- don't do it unless you are married.